And so this is the last day of the year.
*Cue emo post*
It's like the day to reflect on what has past and think about what is to come.
HOW to not be emo?
anyway, I'm excited(not emo) about the new year.
it'll be a new life, filled with challenges in a new place, with new ppl...(emo?)
awesome(not emo).
I have about 6 weeks left in Singapore(emo?).
It just feels strange(not emo).
I have yet to do up my visa(emo?).
And I have yet to pack(emo?!?).
This is dangerous(not emo).

Dear flu,
please go away so I can go have my health checkup.
thanks.
love, Amelia

I was just talking to debs and saying that all I think of when I think about going to brizzie is the bunch coming down to visit.
So unrealistic cause in reality I'll be studying away and all rather than playing...
BUT THEN, it's just nicer to think about the possible happy and exciting times rather than the mundane 'get good grades' times.
I'm off to family gathering...
and to a night of fun and joy :)

DRUMROLL!

THE THREADLESS TEES ARRIVED!
MARCUS! YOU ARE NOT JINXED!

skinny christmas

This has got to be the only christmas I am not putting on the pounds.
My bad cough and throat has barred me from alot of glorious food.
and my personal guard has kept me from reaching out to eat anything more than one potato chip (after which I have to down a whole glass of water)
My appetite has also gone down due to the constant coughing (dont ask me why)
and I lost the kilo I put on after recovering from the lymph node trauma.
I shall celebrate christmas again.

I have to start work on the 2nd of Jan though..
not that I'm complaining.
earning money is always good.
I actually thought I would be jobless after yesterday..
The VP emailed to say they wouldnt be engaging me anymore..
then this morning the science HOD called to ask me to go in to be some lab assistant cum relief.
somehow, the latter sounds like they made a title in order to fully utilise my presence there by giving me two jobs.
Economic crisis.
one month of 6am mornings....
I WILL SURVIVE! (I miss body combat a tad bit. heh.)

I was so sleepy the whole day.
When people were talking to me I was trying my best not to fall asleep.
but I survived.
I think I shall take a week of rest after this week.
The threadless package is still not here.
I'm planning to get matt proper t-shirts.
I shall go sleep.
A day long party tmw at amanda's...
harry potter movie marathon.
I hope I dont fall asleep and drool all over her couch. hahahaha..

christmas 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)
Spent today at matt's place..
mich and JA came over to join us at night for dinner.
Can I say that I have never ever seen such a stuffed fridge ever?
and they have TWO stuffed fridges.
Andrea, matt's niece is SUPER CUTE. heh.
She tried this nail thing that wasnt very successful :(
but today was really nice.
dinner and all.
we attempted honey cornflake cups but it was UNSUCCESSFUL.
I will try it again some other time..
My arms are so going to hurt tmw from all that wii playing.
tmw's shopping with amanda and seafood dinner :)

today I wore a tunic and tights.
I told myself NEVER to get sucked into the tights thing
but the dress i wanted to wear was a little too short so in order not to look skanky, it was necessary to put on some tights.
can I say that tights have got to be the most comfortable thing ever?
I'm so doing that again.

FAITH

seriously.
This lost threadless tees thing is getting out of hand.
It's not even confirmed lost and people (namely Geri and Marc) are already in mourning.
Marc is on his knees praying they aren't really lost.
Geri has hit my facebook wall.
but SERIOUSLY,
Marc has got to be the sway-est guy I know. hahahahahaha..
We still love you Marc. (I remember saying this last year too)
I think the lack of GG is causing us to hu si luan xiang.

my throat is sore
my nose is blocked
My eyes are puffy
the flu has hit.
but I'm still really happy :)
the threadless tees WILL come.
have faith.

today, I met mich for shopping!
I bought only stuff I needed (except for that one headband)...
I feel proud of myself :)
then we had dinner with JA and Matt..
Mich started going CRAZY wanting this clip on hat thing that everyone in orchard was having.
and she also went mad trying to make matt jealous by holding my hand and hugging me and all...
then we brought them to our secret place..
ice cream and talk was great.
I love talking about things beyond the weather.
This week's going to be exciting
CHRISTMAS IS COMING SOON!

Last year, we had 2 batches.
Recall SUPER EXCITED MARCUS and the lost package.
This year, 4 batches
3 have come.
GUESS WHICH ONE HASNT ARRIVED??
and I went to put my tees in the same batch as him.

MARCUS!!! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE YOU?!?!

This week is mad crazy.
oh well, so was last week.
I met amanda today (or rather, yesterday)
It was the only time I genuinely laughed the whole day...
other than when Liang went 'Who's that?' into the mike when Clarabel stepped into Youth today..
The whole day I was just thinking about how annoying I probably was, being all angry and ignoring S (I'm learning from shing.. being all mysterious about the people though everyone knows who this peanut is)
today walter was saying that he felt really uncomfortable when I talk about S.
And I thought about it alot.
Although after that he said he doesn't mean that he doesn't want to hear my side of the story.
I have decided that I will stop trying to defend myself.
Cause my close friends should know me and I shouldn't have to explain myself.
I'm leaving soon anyway.
that solves the issue to the certain extent.
Tomorrow will be a better day.

Gathering at MOF today was fun.
Seeing Ayeeba, Drea, Shir, Ken and HongMeng again was really really nice :)
My hair's starting to act weird.
I shall do something with it soon.
Yesterday was christmas party night.
Mummy had a party at Normanton and then after that, Antz trooped down to daryl's for drinks.
I really enjoy my time with Antz and I'm trying to savour every moment I have with them at the moment.
Yesterday I was really mean in two diff ways.
The first was by not letting the kids drink alcohol cause I was being righteous about keeping the law.
The second is about a certain type of dirty water.
I am not really apologetic about either.
Of course it would be nice if I could deal with the second situation but to be truly honest, I'm not really interested in it
I had rehearsal today and something didn't seem right.
Maybe it's cause I'm so caught up with all these negative feelings.
I'm skipping JC gathering tonight cause I don't have much to talk to with them now adays.
I'm looking forward to seeing Amanda tmw cause I have so much to tell her...
DEBS! WE HAVE TO MEET SOON TOO! I'M SURE YOU WANT TO BE UPDATED! hahaha..
'tis the season to be jolly, falalalalalalalala

I wish I had my own Polaroids to post...
I ate a whole lot today!
Dimsum at REDSTAR in the morning
a tortilla and cakes at TOAST in the afternoon
Hogsbreath for dinner at night.
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PACEMYSELFFORTHEHOLIDAYS PLAN!
oh well.
my C&K voucher just came in the mail so I'm going to buy myself a new bag soon.
today my mind has been overworked.
I've been thinking the WHOLE DARN DAY.
This could be really easy but I chose to complicate things and now it's become too complicated.
I don't like it.
I really enjoyed today though.
I never laughed so much for a really long time...
I'm glad I got to spend time with the Lokes
And I'm glad Mr Joseph Ng is back.
This hectic week is almost over.
Monday will come soon enough.

I AM GREATLY SADDENED!
I was waiting in anticipation for my wonderful wallet from Urban Outfitters but APPARENTLY IT WENT OOS!
It happened the last time with this other bag I bought at UO too!
now I no longer have a wonderful wallet :(
it has been transferred from the 'i got' list to the 'i want' list.
boo.

I went to watch Bolt (3d) just now and it was really funny.
The 3D thing didn't add much I think.. no dogs jumping out and all that..
but the hamster has got to be the funniest thing.
I wish they made it less round and ball like though.
It would be better if the body had more movement other than just folding itself.
Anyway, this week is going to be mad crazy busy.
My days are packed with activities! WOOHOO!
Loves it.
tmw is Day 1 of Crazy Week.
Bingo at the old folk's home then dinner with godpa.
yippee!
on the other hand, I have alot of thinking and praying to do this week.
so NO TIME TO STOP AND STARE!
WORK IT!

cupcakes are wonderful for breakfast.
camp photos will come when I have time to upload them one by one...
so this weekend was eventful.
Friday and Saturday were shopping days.
I went out with mummy and bought a whole load of things...
half for aussie and the other half for fun.
I love shopping with mom.
Friday was her birthday!
It was a very dramatic day cause daddy forgot and he tried to bluff his way through by saying he was going to bake a cake in the MICROWAVE.
I'm really pleased with all my buys :)
Saturday was Michelle's birthday party...
Only Jia and I went (from our CG...)
I'm glad Jia went.. Or else I would be the only one from our CG then it would be very sad.
Today I walked Orchard Road in 3 inch heels for HOURS and I only got one blister.
I'm very proud of myself.
tmw I'm spending the day in slippers.
Alot of ppl commented that I look like I lost weight today and I want to stay this way.
Somehow, I know its impossible.
BUT ONE CAN DREAM.
It's going to be party season soon.
Everything's starting this tuesday for me
and it's exciting :)
Christmas is on its way!

ARGHHHHHHHH.
I need to get out of the house.
I spent yesterday watching taiwanese dramas and cleaning my room.
My room's still pretty messy but it's less dusty and I like it less dusty.
Raine Yang should NEVER act cute.
its puke inducing.
I still need my cable. pfft.

I need to plan more excitement in my life..
just that everyone seems to be either away or doing something else.
the holiday's boring when friends are not around.

the FIVE 'Nevers'

I'm never going to make my own dress.
cause everytime I say I want to, I never get down to it.
I'm never going to effectively stay away from threadless
I swear the deals get better each year and the tees get cuter and funnier that you JUST HAVE TO BUY THEM.
I'm never going to a youth camp ever again.
I have decided that camps just aren't for me.
whether it's catered for older or younger youths, having to be sociable and make friends is just too tiring to do for 4 days 3 nights consecutively.
I know the spiritual aspect and all is GREAT but so is worship on sunday for me.
It's only extraordinary for people who think God cannot touch you during sunday worship itself.
I'm never going to allow myself to grow fat and not do anything to try to stop it.
My greatest fear of all time is growing fat.
Not just fat fat.
I just have to be like L___a and I would probably be freaked out.
I'm so mean. but it's the reality in my head.
I'm never going to speak to S again cause I don't think I want to.
Everytime I talk to S it sucks energy and effort out of me to not scream and strangle him.
I have removed him from msn and blocked him on facebook.
childish as it may be, I will never be as childish as S.
one day, I may find myself with no friends cause I'm so mean like that.
But I know that speaking to you or living my life claiming you are my friend when you actually are not would be more torturous than anything, even being fat.

i still don't have my cable. pfft.

today I'm battling a splitting headache and rapid temperature change.
one moment I'm fever free, another moment I'm running a 39 degrees Celsius fever.
my head feels like bob the builder and his crew decided to visit..
I'm already sick of being sick.
but the good thing about this is that I've lost quite a bit of weight..
tts if my scales are accurate....
woohoo!
there is nothing nice to watch on tv and megavideo is anal.
supernovatube is down and those are the major places the latest tv series are found.
so life's really boring.
not that I'm awake much.
matt brought my keyboard back today and some herbal drinks...
I am too lazy to set up my keyboard though.
I want to eat watermelon, fried chicken, sushi, orh lua...
anything but porridge and plain tasting food.
I want to go out shopping, enjoying myself, hanging out with friends...
maybe tmw...

I CANNOTS BELIEFS THAT I MIZZED BEN AND JEWWY'S CHUNK FEST.
SADZ.
sigh.
I remember going for free cone day 2 years ago even with a fever.
but today was just terrible.
head spinning
head splitting headache
fever of about 38.4
I just slept the whole day away
randomly waking up to talk to people online..
sorry for the lack of pictures...
I actually have pictures to upload
but my sister lost my cable.
So I can't post pics till I get a new one.
or till she finds it.
I should blog about how wonderful her table is..
It's this massive hill of everything..
clothes, papers, files, envelopes, packages...
I'm getting boring arent I.
I hope I'm better by tmw.
I have a ton of things to do.
I want this dog.

credits, blushing apples.

I'M BACK!
I haven't touched a soft surface since tuesday and it feels SO GOOD to just SIT on my bed.
Even though I'm really tired, I'm not going to sleep till 7 at least.
The past few days have been REALLY challenging.
But I really REALLY thank God for this camp com.
even though planning was horribly painful in some ways, the running of the camp was (in my opinion) flawless.
Everyone knew what they had to do at what time.
I think going to teach in MG for 4 months before the camp was also in God's plan.
Even though my throat felt like it was about to give way, I DID NOT LOSE MY VOICE.
screaming at a class of 40 chatty girls 5 days a week for 4 months have strengthened my larynx.
maybe because no matter how much I shouted I couldn't lose my voice, the devil decided to use other ways.
fever, hives and swelling of the lymph nodes.
getting through camp was harder when I had to deal with all that.
But the camp com was really supportive and that helped alot :)
walter sent me to the docs,
they all watched out for me...
my group also prayed for me and that was really nice :)
Some of the committee members were saying it is a spiritual attack seeing I was in charge of the spiritual direction and QT and all...
God won in the end.
TAKE THAT.
God pwn the devil.
noob.

so today and tmw, my plan is to get well.

now that the update is done, it's ranting time.
I found out alot of things during camp.
1. some people can be really spoilt and it gets on my nerves. If you come for camp, don't expect it to be a holiday resort. If you aren't going to participate in the games for fear of getting dirty, expect to sleep till 12pm everyday, and expect the food to be restaurant standard, DON'T COME. go home spoilt brat.

2. I know you are tired and so what? I AM TOO. in fact, I'M EVEN MORE TIRED. I get less hours of sleep a day than you and I run around half the time while you just sit there looking pretty. so don't give me attitude. I'm not going to take it and I don't owe you ANYTHING.

3. Not everyone is going to let you have your way all the time. And it just so happens that this is the way things are. so just chill and move on.

4. I made it seem like it just so happened to be like that. but in reality, no one wanted to room with you.

5. I missed the gathering with the NUS ppl today and I'm actually really upset cause they are the only group in which I love EVERY SINGLE PERSON.

done. ( I think.)

this morning I woke up to like 86930285 msges.
amazing.
I never felt so popular.
but then I realised, the more msges I have, the more work I have.
so not having time to eat breakfast, I started work.
till about 12, then I had tao hui.
Went to church and a whole lot of screw ups and drama
I had lunch at 4.30pm.
which was kinda dumb because I knew dinner was going to be at 6 plus 7...
but how can you resist bah kut teh when you havent had lunch??
Dinner was filling and awesome.
The rice table is a great place.
I ate so much even though I was still full from dinner.
YOUTH CAMP IN 11 HOURS!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I have to go to far east tmw and I REALISED THAT TMW'S TUESDAY.
tuesday means... HALF PRICE WAFFLES! AWESOME!
I love you people!
see you again in 4 days and 3 nights.

happy birthday to koon and Joel Tan the monkey!

the wallet saga

11am: scholarship application status: rejected
1pm: punkanated
1am: hives outbreak
4am: still awake trying to find antihistamine
5am: finally sleeping
weird dream with twisted body of a young girl, a pile of bloody bodies, 4 strange men chasing me down sixth avenue
8am: stupid neighbour and their fat asses
10am: call from Royston "I am in the hospital cause Verine is about to pop"
12pm: finally out of bed
12.30: realises my WALLET IS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!
12.31: PANIC
1.30pm: go to KAP with leah who is nice enough to treat me to a hamburger
2.15pm: do laundry, print chord sheet, things to bring list, sweep floor, pack house.
3.50pm: hang laundry
4pm: open front door and surprise! cupcakes, ipod charger, a box of antihistamine, floss.
4.20pm: bubble tea treat, realise I never bring phone -.-
4.40pm: rehearsal starts
6pm: rehearsal ends, wait for ben to come to open his office so I can see if my wallet is in there
7pm: Ben finally arrives. WALLET FOUND.
7.30pm: back home. leftover spaghetti for dinner.

it's been a long day.

AWESOME night :)
body combat, supper, star gazing, heart to heart talk..
I just wanted to blog to remember this forever.

I think all the rush and busyness is slowly getting to me.
ARGH.
anyway, Art and crafts today with the Home was fulfilling.
they were so happy painting and sprinkling glitter...
like little kids they were.
this little old woman had a doll in her arms and she wanted to stick some sequins onto her doll...
I had a hard time talking her out of it, trying to explain that the glue will not hold.
and then there was this cute old man who started dancing to the christmas carols they were playing and he urged the helpers to dance with him..
sometimes I think that life there is so much better than what we have to face out here.
emokid forming.
I need a cup of tea, a good friend talk and a body combat session.

mid week rant.

can I say that I think that gmail's new idea of letting us have different themes is like the BEST IDEA EVER?
I chose the tea place thingy and the picture at the bottom changes as time passes.
I AM AMUSED.
now, the fox is having some sort of a japanese bento dinner and there are chicks at his doorstep pecking on corn bits.
KAWAII NEH!

I ended up not baking on tuesday.
Rather, I spent the whole day slacking and watching japanese dramas.
At about 12pm today, I realised that I could have gone down to the Home to help in BINGO again since rehearsal was cancelled.
pfft.
I'm going to be a punk rockstar by friday afternoon.
EXCITES.

on another note, there has been this current craze about BB creams.
I bought a couple to try.
I've only tried like one of the two so far: Toc Toc BB cream (yes. jap stuff have the wierdest names)
and I am pleased.
for guys who are uninterested in makeup grooming, you can stop reading.
This makeup base is pretty tricky to use at first.. you can look really white if you put too much.
especially since most of them come in shades that only tofu skin coloured ppl (ie fair japs) can use.
but in Sunny Singapore, where ppl who try to remain fair are still tanner than our japanese counterparts, it is definitly not our shade.
but applied in correct amounts, this is amazing.
It holds everything in place even after sweat (due to the hot and humid Singapore weather and having to take public transport and walk and jump and run and all that).
I personally don't put a WHOLE lot,
but it holds my concealer and loose powder perfectly.
It's a small bottle but it'll probably last a long time since all I need is a pearl sized amount for my whole face plus neck.
you should put it on the neck since it's lighter than your skin colour and you don't want to look like a wayang actress.
amazed, and somewhat addicted.

ok. now I just made an entry worthy of a beauty blog.
heh.
sorry guys.
maybe next time I'll blog about some rad computer game.
or maybe not.

ok. I'm not used to the new Lydia.
Yesterday she cooked for us all and today she's doing the laundry??
just cause mummy's away she thinks she should do all the chores..
which is all good cause I totally don't mind.
but the thing is, I have to clean up after her...
I found an unwashed pot yesterday which smelled like crap
and today when she did the laundry she didn't take all the clothes.
and she only loaded half the load but didn't press the half load button.
water wastage and I have to do the laundry again.
too much washing powder for too little clothes.
somehow, we always find stuff to complain about don't we.. heh.

UPSET.
I have to go for the retreat cause Qing Ying cannot make it :(
I thought I could escape that..
I'm now taking her place and rooming with two people who are not exactly my type of company
AHHHHHHH.
so much for escaping. blegh.
I shall bake tmw.

the lizard saga

*enters lizard with the long wriggly tail, jumping, yes jumping across the curtains.*

Amelia: AHHHH!!! LIZARD!
Sumit (on msn): ?
Amelia: SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!! IN MY ROOM SUMMORE!
Sumit: eww u dont clean ur room one right
Amelia: I DO! ITS ON THE CURTAINS!!GO AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Sumit: call leah. maybe she can do something
Amelia: It JUMPS! SHE WILL SCREAM WITH ME!! tts what she'll do. i hope it crawls OUT of my room.the tail is like WAGGING.
Sumit: grow up la. u've dealt with bigger sleaze bags in ur life. (so out of point la! and hello. I'M the one who has to deal with stupid lizards.)
Sumit: it'll go away =) relaxxxxx
Amelia: I managed to chase it to the door post. should I smash it?
Sumit: no. all life is precious to God.
Amelia:but then it'll be crawling around
Sumit:it'll go away. it's more scared of u than u are of it.
*lizard finally crawls out of the room*
Amelia: ok. It's gone. my door is closed. YESSSSSS.
Sumit: see? all u need to do was chill and give it time.
Amelia: no. i had to use my swiss flag to scare it in the direction of the door. it was about to come to my bed.
Sumit: y do u have a swiss flag?
Amelia: cause I went to switzerland
Sumit: poor switzerland
Amelia: what?!? How about poor MEEEEE.

I HATE lizards.

Lydia's luggage got delayed so today was luggage opening day.
I got to see the item of LUST.

Her Loewe bag.

and then there were other random items like a VS curler which she bought because it was cheap, some ugly ass billabong bag that also was purchased because it was cheap, but the ULTIMATE RANDOM ITEM.....

INFLATABLE GUITAR.

now we can play air guitar (inflatable=air geddit?? heh.)

and Mr Lim was the lucky recipient of.....

a BULL'S TAIL.
yes you heard it right.

a very happy yangshen with the bull's tail.

Last year I was waiting for my exams to be over..
This year I'm waiting for my friends' exams to be over!!!
I TOTALLY miss studying with them..
Currently, if taking exams means being able to study with the crazy bunch again, I probably would agree to it.
going for gym alone just isn't fun...
I miss the music lib :)

Because of how things have worked out, my plans for December may be changed entirely..
I'm kinda happy too..
I'm just hoping that Qing Ying has no assessment during the week of the retreat and everything will be perfect.
anyway, I have missed gym for the most part of this week. my last gym session was last saturday so I HAVE to go today and tmw.. if not I'll feel horrible.
Next week is another hectic week where I have rehearsal on monday and a gig sorta thing on wed and POTS on friday... so gyming is only available to me on tues, thursday and sat. which is ok I guess....
This week was indeed the horriblest(this apparently is a valid word. there is no red line under it!!) week ever.
and with everyone coming back and asking to go out and eat the most unhealthy things, this is not helping.
not that I don't want to eat those things..
I haven't had prata in a while anyway..
excitement starts at 8.

camp.first words.10 years.confession.closer.misunderstanding.upset.awkward.talk.much better.much stronger.much sweeter. warm feeling.plans.hunger.surprises at the door.uncontrollable smiles.bursting from the inside.

I don't want to wake up and realise this is all a dream.

BINGO!

today was my first ever volunteering day at Bukit Batok home for the Aged.
We played BINGO!
The old ppl there are so cute.
They got so excited when they found out that they get coffee and milo and maggie mee for prizes..
Some old people thought I was Filipino, some thought I was Eurasian.
NO ONE asked me if I was chinese.
WHY!
Maybe cause my chinese was really bad.
I had alot of fun helping the old people find the number on their Bingo card and listening to them tell me that their mother is malay while their father is eurasian and they can speak chinese.
There was this very handsome old man who would probably have been the school's heart throb during his time.
I have to wait till next thursday to see them again though :(
but it'll be Arts and Crafts!
sounds fun already :)
I had to miss my Cotton On interview for this but it was worth it.

I had a weird dream/nightmare.
It was a good mix of both.
I dreamt that I was on my way to school with some people even though I didn't want to be there
When we entered NUS, I saw Quen drive out
So I msged him to stop where he was and pick me up so I could go home instead of stay with these ppl in NUS.
But that was a BIG MISTAKE
BECAUSE.....
Quen was some psycho killer who made people kill on his behalf and tts how he avoided being caught.
I don't remember the details (cause I think I was manipulated by quen and my mind avoids thinking about it somehow)
and then I was chased by this psycho hugger or something which was extremely disturbing
but what is MOST disturbing is I remember vaguely during this dream that I've dreamt it before but with a different psycho killer.
then while I was running away from the psycho hugger who tried to wear the same colour as me but I trumped him by wearing purple which somehow was against his values cause he would never do anything that would make him look gay in any way
and then I was suddenly discussing carbon isotopes with Hannah (Joseph's sister)
and my sister was talking about having a pet duckling
and I was in some bathroom looking at a duckling swim in the sink
When I came out from the toilet, I was in a house that I've never seen before
but it was strangely familiar.
I had a sleepover with my cell group..
and I remember Walter complaining about only having one pillow and stealing Mark's pillow instead...
my bed had the best comforter ever which felt something like the one I have in real life..
A dream about sleeping is somewhat intriguing.
Then my cousins and a whole lot of other people came over while walter was still in the midst of his complains and I was suppose to leave cause my sis and I were suppose to surprise our grandma that we were there.
I don't know why.
But I'm awake at 7am because I ran out but was discovered and chased by my grandma out of the house.
what a long and eventful dream.
I woke up feeling scared.
and my legs felt like jelly.
but ok.
I guess none of this can compare to the one I had about Ronald Mcdonalds taking over the world.

tmw's going to be a long day.
8-9: last min rehearsals and sound check
9-10.30: youth service
11-12.30: 11am service
1-2.30: meeting with ben and scott
2.30-5: youth camp meeting
5-6.30: secret meeting
7.30: dinner/supper with sumit.

I hope everything goes well.

I was upset when Zac from the drama series Bones was actually a criminal.
He was the one I liked the most in that series..
I seem to like the nerdiest of the lots in english drama series.
Zac from Bones, Spencer from Criminal Minds, Greg from CSI Las Vegas....
Anyway, I couldn't sleep till 4 plus last night.
I think I've had enough of emo boys and their problems that are too big that they don't want to trouble us by sharing it with us girls, but on the other hand they are sitting there being emo and upset and so I get affected as well because we cannot communicate normally because the whatever problem that you cannot talk about is making you so emo and your face is all sulky and black.
ARGH.
November is a tough month don't you think?
this year is ending soon and Christmas is coming.
I shall resolve to spend more time with girl friends and less time with emo boys.
Life's too short to be emo.

less than one month of this RUBBISH and I'm done.
I'm MORE than done.
After searching like mad for a speaker for the older youth camp, they come back to me and say: oh. we cannot use him because blah blah blah. Just tell him we were just checking the AVAILABILITY of the speaker.
Now, After everything is settled for the younger youth's camp, they come back again saying: There are TOO MANY speakers and we should use Dr Steve for the first night.
WHO in the right mind would ask a speaker(whom you have stated in the first place to be so hard to get and REALLY BUSY) to come down for a speaker session that isn't even a full speaker session?
It's suppose to be a short session done by one of our own people. but NO. some people have their own ideas and so they 'ASK' if we should do it that way.
When we say no, we are bombarded with reasons why we should be and discussion only stops when we agree.
So I say: We shall just CHECK HIS AVAILABILITY FIRST.

I cannot stand this much longer.
all this is driving me absolutely INSANE.
this is why I'm thinking of NEVER COMING BACK.

I need a body combat session NOW.

First visit to the Bukit Batok Home for the Aged

Went to Bukit Batok Home for the Aged..
It's a really small facility filled with homeless old people who have no family.
It's really different from normal old folks homes cause these people really come from off the street.
When I entered, I saw this old man sitting at the table alone trying to piece together a wooden structure..
In front of him was already a small wooden cupboard, and a swing.
He looked so contented musing over that simple art project,
I could almost see the 6 year old in him...
They have makeovers twice a month for the old ladies there...
so cute.
They also have cooking sessions and it is rumored that they use their own home grown chili in their dishes.. yum.
They have this small place dedicated to rehabilitation and therapy and the music blasting out of the stereo is nothing but the latest rock and pop music.
they even have their own hair salon..
I can't wait to start :)
They are looking for more volunteers so if you want to join me on thursday afternoons, let me know :)
I'm thinking of bringing my CG there once to do some arts and crafts with the old people...
They have more male residents than female residents...
so that does seem to suggest that women are more able to live and survive alone... heh.
yay to females!

Chocolate chip cookies..

yum.
Tuesday seems to be baking day for me...
baking is like the only thing I do that seems useful now.
tmw I'm going to see the supervisor of bukit batok home for the aged though..
So that would be another useful thing I'll be doing with my life and time :)
medical checkup today.
Sometimes I think it'll be cool if they found something wrong with me..
like worms in my stomach or something..

I just asked matt a question I don't really know whether I want to know the answer to.
Sometimes I really put myself in a spot.
oh well.
I have the whole week to prepare myself for the answer.
We were suppose to meet tonight but I decided I wanted my body combat session.
I have lot of negative energy to purge tonight. (ref: deb's blog)
Some air's going to get hurt REAL BAD.

Everything will be okay in the end.

After last week's drama I thought it was all over.
BUT APPARENTLY NOT.
another drama unfolds.
This is probably the most eventful time of my life.
With God's help, I'm going to get through this.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,
we will wait upon the Lord,
we WILL wait upon the Lord.

have I ever said that I hated politics.
well,
I HATE POLITICS.
In this one short month, I have had to face too much of it.
And I believe it's the one thing that makes ppl hate each other.
I have had just about enough of it.
I've done all I could and I'm washing my hands off of it all.
settle it yourself.

I applied to work at Cotton On and Ben & Jerry's.
I got a reply from Cotton On to go for an interview but I'm thinking I don't really want to go cause I also applied to do volunteer work at Bukit Batok Home of the Aged.
and town to Bukit Batok is not fun.
I was passing Island Creamery today and was thinking how nearby it was and everything
but all the things attached to working there is not nice.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life for the next 3 weeks and it really bothers me somehow.
3 weeks of bumming around makes me think of myself as being very useless.

I keep getting these nasty headaches.
today didn't go very nicely cause I was made to think about things that I really didn't feel like thinking about.
And then I felt really bad that I kept avoiding the need to think about them.
currently, I am so unsure of many things in my life.
Some times I just want people to serve things to me and not give me a choice.
having no choice sometimes seems so much easier.

oh.and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JX!

The Answer

I believe You are the answer to every tear I’ve cried,
I believe that you are with me,
My rising and my light.
Give me strength when I am weary,
Give me hope when I can’t see

Through the crosses I must carry
Lord bind my heart to thee.
That when all my days are over,
And all my chores are done
I may see Your risen glory for ever where you are

you know, I thought that after I finish studying, I would have no more problems and worries...
but these few months have been even more trying, even harder.
but these few months, I've also seen God's AWESOMENESS (my FAVOURITE WORD of ALL TIME) even more :)
and yes. for the 84765083rd time, I should really find some job to do...
sitting at home is not beneficial at all.

OATMEAL COOKIES!

I SUCCEEDED!! WOOHOO!
FORTY wonderful oatmeal cookies :)
SO today I succeeded in laying around less.
I actually woke up at 10.30AM to start my wonderful baking.
don't ask me why I woke up so early.
I don't know why.
ANYWAY, I woke up so early and I was done with all the baking by 2 in the afternoon.
and I spent the rest of the day LAYING AROUND watching random movies.
I managed to catch BRATZ.
hahaha... typical teenage girl movie.
going for fellowship soon!
all the lucky ppl who come for fellowship today get a taste of my freshly baked cookies! :)
sign up now.
available while stocks last.

today I was very useless.
I lay in bed till my curly hair became straight.
SERIOUS.
when I finally got up to go to the gym (the only active thing I did all day), my hair was back to what it was before.
this is freaking scary.
tmw I shall be more useful.
I plan to bake oatmeal cookies :)
I hope i'm successful.
The last time I did cookies, I had 3 trays of almost burnt and burnt, and one tray of nice cookies.
blegh.
I enjoy body combat when my fav instructor, kevin is teaching.
entertaining canz.
today the tai tais and him started dancing in the middle of body combat
they also did stuff like pretend they were gorillas cause the music went HOO HOO HOO.
can't wait for thursday's class! :) heh.

post number 300

yipee.
I had a whole list of things I had to do after I came home from church today
BUT INSTEAD, I spent the whole evening changing my icons
after about 4 hours of work (it's addictive) I am still not satisfied.
I can't seem to find a nice icons for certain applications and its driving me nuts.
lalalalalalaaaa...
I am getting myself involved in all the camps and what not only cause I have no work and I need to do something.
Scott said something about becoming a singtel roadshow person but I don't think it's really my kinda thing..
I was thinking more along the lines of scooping ice cream, or waitressing, or working in some retail place....
though I first have to motivate myself to go out and look for jobs.
ugly betty rocks.
I love floppy, squishy and soft things.
maybe tts why I love flipflops.
I think Lee Hom is really cute.
but I think no one should ever have glitter in their hair.
not even if they are Lee Hom kind of cute.

blessed.

I have to say that this week has been really trying.
when I went to the gym I realized how mentally and physically tired I've become.
All the issues that have arose during the weekend just drained every ounce of my energy.
But God was faithful and heard my cries.
He sent an angel to help me out of when I felt weary,
Assured me and stood by me throughout the way.
Intervened silently and helped solve my troubles...
I feel very blessed and thankful.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

warning. GG ep8 spoiler alert.

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NATE AND JENNY?!?!?!?!?!
omy..

some things are no fun when done alone.

Now that work is over,
I need to find something to do.
I want to go volunteer at some place so that I can do something meaningful with my time...
but i also want to work.
but then, working would be pointless cause I'll only be able to work for november.
december is just mad crazy busy.
and then I really need all the time and energy I can have to deal with certain persons.

SO, I will logically, working would just be a nonsensical idea. though I really don't like the idea of bumming..
I have a feeling that my life ahead is going to be filled with gyming, swimming, tanning and slacking.
I know how envious peeps in school are of me :P
but it can become quite boring.
I can't wait till december comes..
then I'll have my friends back.

I had a really long talk with matt today about stuff that was bothering me and it really helped to put things into perspective.
It also really helped that he kept bringing the WWJD or the 'what should be done so that God would be glorified' perspective into the picture.
I had a whole plan out, ready to be executed.. but I guess some of it won't be good to do.
So I'm changing my plan to God's plan.
It's going to be REALLY REALLY difficult.
but I'm going to carry it out.
HE will be my strength and my portion.

its getting harder and harder to forgive.
Lord, Help me.

Addie and steff's wedding was today and it was beautiful.
You can tell when two people are really in L-O-V-E.

today I did the spiritual gifts inventory AGAIN and I got hospitality as my highest AGAIN.
celibacy was strangely my 7th highest!! GASP. hahahaha..
I really love being on break cause I get to do anything.. though I havent been able to catch up on sleep cause either there is something on in the morning or I just motivate myself to roll out of bed to head to the gym.
so anyway, I am looking forward to the week ahead cause nothing much is really planned except planning to enjoy myself a bit before I find another job to occupy my time.

Today I did the passage on the unmerciful servant for the 3rd time this month.
I know what it means.
But I am being dangerously stubborn.
I hate myself for it
I will do something about it.
though I NEED HELP.
cause I really can't do anything on my own.

but other than that, I've been pampered and loved :)
and I have a ton of things I want to tell S & S but I don't know if I should and how to go about it...hmm.

SECOND LAST DAY OF WORK.
slept at 2am last night
cannot wake up at 6.05
Yawned my way through
fun fair tmw
going to play like mad
eat lots of candy floss
nice cool weather
don't feel like moving
don't feel like gyming
but need to gym
ate too much
3 croissants, tea, 3 biscuits, 2 chicken drumsticks, lots of water
ok. maybe not.
found my newest addiction

better than chicken-in-a-biscuit (In my opinion)
but I don't know where to buy it
shall scout NTUC tonight
I'll be more interesting when the hols roll round (I hope.)
one more 6.05am day to go
WAHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Last day of the long weekend

I keep eating and eating today..
I've already finished the apple strudel my mom got yesterday
and half of the pot of rice.
I tell myself its because of all this gyming I've been doing...
BUT STILL! HALF A POT OF RICE.
Usually I only take like less than a quarter.
its only 2pm.
this has to stop...
maybe after this can of pringles....

day 5 of long weekend.

Today was GYM-LIKE-MAD day.
morning, I woke up and went for bodybalance.
then I pretty much slacked till it was time for body combat.
I didn't plan to go for body jam but ended up going for it cause I saw the wrong timing and went earlier.
SO EMBARRASSING.
at body combat, I was DAY DREAMING and when everyone had gone on to the hook, I was still at the previous step.
*digs hole*

but today was good generally.
Debs and I found out how wonderfully refreshing the water at fringe is.
yummy.
and WE SHALL TRY THE COOLERS SOMETIME SOON! :)

He truly provides :)

You know that sick sinking feeling you get when something goes wrong?
I just experienced it.
Daryl Goh who was suppose to help me play for the children's camp worship tells me HE HAS TO WORK ON THAT DAY.
everyone else has school or some other thing on.
dead duck I am.
having so many friends who can play guits and what not is OF NO USE I tell you.
you have to have friends who can play guits and what nots and IS ALWAYS FREE AS A BIRD.
my heart is still stuck at the bottom.
cue cheesy "God will make a way" tune

AND HE DOES!
hahahahahaha.. I know.
THIS ALL HAPPENED IN REAL TIME OK.
while I was typing out this depressing post, BENJAMIN FONG GUO (SOMETHING) SAID IT WAS HIS OFF DAY!
my heart just went back up again.
This is the stuff mood swings are made of.

anyway, since now I'm in a much better mood, I can tell you my horror story about a shoe.
Yesterday was scott's birthday dinner and he had it at some restaurant which name CANNOT be pronounced by normal human beings - Brotzeit
I did a quick google search and the web stated: Smart casual.
SO, I had to wear shoes.
BUT, me no shoes.
only slippers. duh.
SO, I went to toapayoh and bought $7.50 shoes.
mistake. BIGGEST mistake.
the shoe SCRAPED OFF not only my PLASTER but ALSO MY SKIN.
SCRAPED. totally.
died.
the stupidest thing was that even though the web said SMART CASUAL,
I see ppl in shorts and t-shirts and SLIPPERS.
I want to STRANGLE the person who put smart casual there.
grrr.
it's been a LONG weekend.
and the thing is: It hasn't ended yet!heh.

yesterday was strange.
I don't know how else to describe it.
I spent lunch eating homecooked beehoon at some park.
1. I don't particularly like beehoon much.
2. It was a whole box full I had to finish.
3. I was wearing jeans. Jeans + Open air park is not very nice though I wasn't feeling particularly hot..
4. I know its suppose to be a really nice thing to have someone cook for you but I felt totally weird.

then we went for prayer meeting which was really nice though out of the ordinary.
Hearing these people pray about the world, about Israel and all, I feel a little selfish cause I only pray for people around me and never thought to pray for people further than Singapore...

I think I learnt a few things about myself:
1. I cannot have people being too nice to me.
2. I have to be the nicer one. (does that even make sense)
3. If the other person does more than I do for him/her, I feel totally guilty.
4. I don't like feeling guilty.
5. I don't really know what I think or feel half the time.

HOW can it be that this marks the middle of my holiday.
WHY DID IT ALL PASS ME BY SO QUICKLY!
GRR.

tanned, got burnt.
tried to do work, slept instead.
was going to have a quiet night, ended up spending it outside celebrating some emo boy's birthday.
He's emo because no one is spending it with him.
I didn't spend mine with anyone either...
but did I get emo, no.
ok. probably cause I'm cool with being alone and some ppl just arent.

BUT

I got to try 2am desserts which was ok I felt.
I liked the desserts and all
I just am not sure I would pay 15 bucks for it..

now, I'm just dead tired and want to sleep.
nite!

OH HAPPY DAY! (oh happy day)
OH HAPPY DAY! (oh happy day)
THE WEEKEND'S HERE (the weekend's here)
FOR SIX LONG DAYS (for six long days)

:)
I LOOOOOOOOVE PSLE. heh.

June just pang sehed me though..
so tmw, which was suppose to be fantastic pampering plus shopping till I drop day has now come to naught and i am a teeny weeny bit pfft about it.
maybe i'll go tan tmw then :)
see whether the weather be FINE
or whether the weather be NOT.
whether the weather be COLD
or whether the weather be HOT.
we'll weather the weather
whatever the weather
WEATHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT.

After playing taboo yesterday, I realised that alot of the words I'm able to guess have to do with fashion or makeup or some shopping related thing.
This makes me feel very bimbotic somehow..

Word: Cheek
Description: Blusher goes on the _______?

Word: Polish
Description: What we apply onto our nails.

Word: Benefit
Description: The makeup counter that opened exclusively in Tangs last year.

that said: taboo is fun fun fun.



Things I want to do:
1. Go tanning.
2. shop shop SHOP.
3. sleep till 1pm every day for a week.
4. play like mad.
5. watch some movie (I haven't stepped into a cinema for the longest time.)
6. spend more time with people who matter.
7. pack my messy room.
8. watch as many dramas as I can before I move to australia where my downloading capability is limited :(

hrmph.

I had a very special sunday..
Service was as usual...
after service, I headed to some soccer ministry thanksgiving where only one player turned up :(
The food was good though..heh. (thanks to uncle hian woon)
then I came home and napped.
Went for my very first 'We Love Captain's ball' event.
can I say this: THEY ARE SO DRAMA.
in the 2 hours I saw a whole range of ways to catch the ball.
and thanks to DarylWong's super head butt, I saw the most tyco goal ever.
after that I had dinner and went out with a very special group of people.
It was really fun and interesting to meet people from a whole different group in society :)
Sundays have never been this eventful EVER

tmw is Kenneth and Euan's birthday celebration :)
I get to see Shir and Drea again! yay!
I might go earlier to do a tiny weeny eensy bit of shopping.... heh.

oh. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENNETH TEO WEI YANG :)

Love Song- Sara Bareilles

watch it here

Head under water
And they tell me... to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder... even I know that
You made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually... hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you... to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you... a love song today
Today, yeah

I learned the hard way
That they all say... things you want to hear
And my heavy heart... sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello... to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you... a love song today

Promise me... you'll leave the light on
To help me see... with daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way... you can love me
Because I say
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you... to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason to
Write you... a love song today
Today (yeah eh eh eh)

I am TRAUMATIZED.
this girl from my class came up to me and KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK.. TWICE.
EW.
I hope she cleaned her mouth after recess.
Her classmates said she kisses everyone.
and so I asked her if she kissed Hock Seng
Heh. (MGS joke)

I'm working next year again for mgs.
I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing..
I just hope I don't have work everyday which is kinda unlikely I think.

some kid cried in class again.
even with the shitty grades, everyone in class did better than mid years for math.
I think it's cause the midyear paper was harder.
bah.

When I read fashion blogs, what amazes me most is their guts to bleach that perfectly nice pair of jeans or cut up a perfectly great tshirt.
it always comes out nice of course.
I always wanted to do something like that.
But I have too little faith in my artistic ability.
Somehow I know I try anything, it'll end up in the bin.

in the past 3 days.....

-ONE girl told me she dreamt of me being her mother and wrote me a letter telling her that was her wish
-ONE pain in the ass disgruntle parent called me to tell me that her daughter was not at fault for talking in class and her name shouldn't be written on the board cause of that
-TWO girls failed their math with a record of 20.5/100
-TWO girls from my most hated class cannot stop hugging me (I hate it cause I think students should FEAR me
-THREE girls cried in class due to various reasons
-A WHOLE CLASS of girls laughed at me because I wore a vest to school and they said it looked sexy.

only half the week is gone.
I'm SO ready for the weekend.

I AM SO HAPPY.
you know why??
MY IPOD CLAIM HAS BEEN APPROVED.
This has been the most gruelling one month of waiting I TELL YOU.
and now I have another 2 months to wait for my scholarship reply..
CAN I SAY THAT I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY.
I can now enjoy my itouch.
and I have to say this too: I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN.

I went shopping today with Trashy :)
THOROUGHLY enjoyed myself because I believe I got some FANTASTIC buys.
THERE IS A RIVER ISLAND SALE YOU KNOW? hahaha..
I bought only denim articles today though..
I am PROUD to say that the amount I spent today is STILL less than teresa's bill. heh.
But then again. if we talk about proportions of monetary wealth.. I lose. (fine.)
tmw I'm going to see her again and it'll be another day of FUN and EXCITEMENT. (heh. secret)
I thoroughly enjoyed body combat today cause the instructors were hilarious today and the tai tai wore the most ridiculously tightfittingpluslowcut exercise wear. AWESOME.

on another note: I have to start remembering to eat.
I haven't been putting alot into my tummy lately.
today, all I had was one small bun, one packet of Jacob's vege biscuits, three prawn nuggets and a yam pie.
though I really don't feel hungry.
I know its really bad for my body to eat so little, but then again, its also good so I lose weight. heh.

Sometimes just being blind for awhile will teach you to see

I <3 Kate Voegele.
she is angsty emo rock chick.

MUMMY SAYS I CAN START SHOPPING FOR WINTER STUFF!!! YAY!
I am so going tmw.

I am one year and one day older..
but I dont feel any diff.
I spent my birthday eating salad with mummy and slacking at home..
though this birthday, I had a difficult decision to make.
but now that its settled more or less......
I shall sleep well tonight.
And I have to say this one more time..

FATED TO LOVE YOU IS SUPER NICE. GO WATCH.

tt reminds me.
I havent watched Gossip Girl S02E05.
THIS IS BAD.

A ten-year-old story seems to be coming to an end....
or is this only the beginning?

I want these shorts.

image credits: fashiontoast.com

We'll all stay skinny cause we JUST WON'T EAT!

HELLO EVERYBARDY!
today I was very productive.
1. I actually managed to finish most of my marking and return all that rubbish to the kids. I have another half to finish tmw.
2. I managed to get my butt down to IDP to settle all the paper work and all.
3. I actually went to toa payoh to get more stuff for children's day tmw despite the FREAKING HOT SUN.
4. I went for body jam AND body combat. which is a GREAT achievement cause by the end of body jam I was half dead. and usually I don't feel anywhere near motivated to go for body jam cause I CANNOT MOVE TO THE MUSIC. I really have two left feet.

I FEEL GOOD.
I also realise how little I ate today.. though unintentionally.
Today I had:
- yakult
- fish burger
- green tea
- a cup of milk
- a banana

AMAZING.
and I'm not even hungry yet.

I've resumed my DRAMA SERIAL WATCHING HABITS!
I'm in the midst of this taiwan series called "Fated to Love You".
can I say this: Korean actors may be getting less and less handsome.
BUT SOMETHINGS GOING ON WITH THE TAIWAN ACTORS.
HOT like crazy canz.
ANYWAY, this story is about this girl who is super duper plain jane who is put together with a high powered handsome like crazy boss of some company through a series of unfortunate(or rather fortunate) events.
cliche? definitely.
but still every bit the AWESOME.
I guess no matter how old the story line is, I still cannot ignore the fairytale of a dark horse and a white horse finding true love :) (yes joel. I guess I still am into fairytale love stories.)
Sometimes we need a little bit of fantasy in this bleak world overrun with depressing love stories.

Joseph's chinese name is Wei Ping.
I just had to blog about that cause I have to remember it the next time I want to say his name with EMPHASIS.
I always forget his chinese name
and that spoils the moment..

JOSEPH NG erm..... XIAO MING

no more will I mess up an opportunity to announce his name to the world. muahahaha..
in less than 24 hours, he'll be on the flight to LSE.
I wont be seeing him for 3 years if he doesnt come back for dec hols...
but if i get this scholarship i'm trying for, I MIGHT HAVE SOME MONEY TO GO VISIT!!! AND SHOP IN UK!!! WOOT!

I really hope I get this scholarship thingy.
I shall be hardworking and go down to IDP next monday.

I just awoke from another weird dream..
I dreamt I was in wait for it..... DANCE CLASS! YES, you read it right.
and then I was practicing something and needed to check in the mirror to make sure that my body was kept straight. BUT THEN all my 'classmates' were BLOCKING MY LINE OF VISION.
so I became ultra frustrated and started to cry.
I woke up after crying very bitterly.
but in real life, I didn't shed a single tear.

I blame this on yesterday's interpretive dance class.
it deeply traumatized me.

TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF TUITION!
you CANNOT imagine how happyELATED I am.
I decided that I CANNOT each people who cannot even do simultaneous equations and solving equations with only ONE unknown.
its frustrating when they take more than five minutes to finish a single question that can be done in a minute.

I'm just hoping she passes.
she wants to get 78% so that she can do A maths.
I wanted to tell her to do everyone a favour and just settle with E maths.
but I couldn't.
I AM SO HAPPY NOW.
*celebrate*

today has been very tiring.
I had a nap in the afternoon which had a very weird dream that I totally don't remember anything about except that it was really weird.
and I spent most of the day printing things I need when I make my trip down to IDP to accept my offer from UQ.
I was suppose to do that today but the sun was too hot and I was just plain lazy.
so I'll do it sometime later.
I also looked for scholarships that I can apply for.
I was writing my EOI and I realised how much I really need a scholarship.

Having to pay for the six long years of my sister's education in a medical course abroad already puts a great strain onto the family's finances. My youngest sister is looking to enter the local university next year and my parents have also recently become the primary caregivers to my grandparents who have both underwent major operations in the recent year. My paternal grandfather had to undergo brain surgery in order to remove a tumour that was affecting his mobility and causing incontinence, while my grandmother had to have a shoulder replacement done after a fall crushed her left shoulder blade. They require regular checkups and medical attention leading to substantial medical costs. This is why I am applying for this scholarship.

it sounds pretty dramatic doesnt it.
Especially when the part about the tumour and the crushed shoulder comes in.
amazing.
I wonder if the uni would think I made it up.

While I was walking to kickboxing today I just suddenly became very concerned over how I should be saving the bulk of my money (dont worry trashy.. I am still up for my shopping trip on tues. hahahaha..)
While boxing I imagined I was boxing all my troubles into pulp and that helped a bit.
but I'm not sad. (toshi, this is NOT an emo post.)
I'm not sad cause God has already said He would provide.
So I'm just waiting to see how he does that :)
But anyway,Pray ok? thanks.

tmw I have my last tuition session with sonia.
I'm happy cause its soon to be over.
I'm sad cause I'll be poorer.
But i'm more happy than sad.
I dont like travelling down to church just to give her tuition
its too troublesome.
CANT WAIT FOR TMW!

I know my blog has been suffering from a great lack of photos lately but i'm really too lazy to upload stuff :(

I found out that my last day of work is on the 23rd of oct instead of the 15th and I GET TO GO TO THE MG MINIFAIR! excites!
I returned my gown today and they told me I could keep the gown cover...
I do not know what to do with it.
useless free gifts make my room increasingly cluttered.

Leah experienced her very first incidence of lost mail.
I wish I knew where lost mail goes to.
HOW can something just disappear like that?? NO LOGIC!
sigh.

anyway, lately I've been doing less online window shopping and more fashion blog reading and my FAVOURITE READS are seaofshoes and fashiontoast.
They inspire me to train myself to wear heels cause everything looks better with heels..
but my feet will just crumble and DIE.
so I can only look on with envy...
I ALSO LOVE FASHION ICONS LIKE TWIGGY (who is the lady featured above in case you didn't know).
cause she has the HUGE BEAUTIFOO DROOPY EYES.
I remembered the time I was working at Shu uemura and my counter manager did my eye makeup and she was discussing makeup techniques with the counter girl of lancome and...
CM: Her eyes really suit the smoky eye look.
Lancome: yeah. because her pupils are large enough...
CM: mm...
Lancome: but then she has droopy eyes ah..
CM: yeah.. tts why I have to put the lash a bit off the actual lashline to fix it.

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I hear someone say I have droopy eyes.
and I was sitting there worrying it was something totally terrible.
UNTIL I found twiggy :)
I love her to bits cause we share the same 'problem': droopy eyes..

I shouldn't have to fight for something that's already mine
But her pursuit of you has undermined my peace of mind.

if you haven't already noticed, I have had a visitor counter put into the bottom of my page.
I have been very excited every day to see how much the counter has changed.
usually it only goes up at about an average of 10..
but then I'm also comforted by the fact that few ppl know about this blog and I would love to keep it that way... but recently, it has been going up. I WONDER WHY, ilightfirecrackers.

anyway, this weekend has been mad rush crazy.
i actually planned to type out all I have done and am going to do in the next week but tt would be a VERY BORING post.
so i'll just end here.
I need sleep anyway. NIGHT!

juno

You're a part-time lover and a full-time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see
In anyone else but you

I'll kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train
I'll kiss you all starry-eyed my body swingin' from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see
In anyone else but you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you

Pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive
So why can't you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you

I will find my niche in your car
With my MP3, DVD, rumble pack, guitar
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you

Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you

You are always tryin' to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you

Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam, I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you

Squinched up your face and did a dance
Shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else
But you
But you-The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else but You

This morning at 7.20am, the HOD of science AMBUSHED me in the general office to ask me to take primary 6 supplementary class..
*panic*
IN THE END, there was no supp class due to some confusion :)

went for tuition which was ok..
and then I had dinner with matt.
we spent the night talking about pretty deep stuff.. like prayer, truth, holiness and grace.
This is SO unlike matt but it was a good time of sharing what we thought about the different issues :)
it did feel like mentoring session though.
gave him my whole collection of winnie the pooh stuff cause i'm trying to clear out my room.
EVERYONE TAKE NOTE!
MATTHEW HING SAYS HE IS QUITTING DOTA.
let's see if he REALLY manages to do it.

ps: one of my extensions fell out today on its own.. i'm pretty upset, though I don't know why. OH WELL. It'll soon be time for pink ones anyway :) HEARD THAT DEBS?

body combat today was SUPER CHALLENGING.
I am SO going to pay for it tmw.
but I don't really care.

currently, I'm majorly sleep deprived.
I can't wait till the weekend... and I really thank God this sunday's service is at 5pm :) I get to sleep in.

Went for dinner with my godpa and he was just telling me the AMAZING things that have been happening at his new church.
they had this evangelistic event, and over 140 ppl came to receive Christ!
Last year during christmas, 200 ppl came to Christ and they are expecting 300 this year.
I am SO amazed and SO excited for them... at the same time, I really wished it was happening in ALL the churches.
PRay also talked about how their church doesn't limit events to a budget and they always put in everything into every event, how the senior pastor doesn't take a salary from the church, how their youths commit 2 years to ministry and the church pays them the market rate for what they do... how their children's ministry has a full band, how children are not left out in evangelistic events...how the church staff gather EVERY wednesday, thursday AND friday mornings at 9am for AN HOUR to pray for the church and SPECIFIC members of the church.
I am left speechless.. and ashamed.
What happened to us Methodists?
we have become limited by a church budget. and every budget we submit is cut even further. ideas are thrown away because of the high projected costs.
What are we doing with what we are given with?
where is our passion?
where is our 200 people for Jesus?

treasure this moment.

to-die, trashie came over and we had RED BOWL NOODLES! yay. the log cock noodles which taste unbelievably good due to the nostalgia it brings with every SLURP.

ANYWAY, I went for my very first BODY BALANCE CLASS today. and it was.... FUN-NY.
Debs and I were DYING!
it was a class which tested your ability to PERSEVERE!
it was part yoga and part pilates. I like all these hybrid classes cause you get a taste of many different things in one hour.
ANYWAY, I was falling all over because of my complete INABILITY to balance and it DOESN'T HELP that there is this HUGE mirror in front of me so I see how stupid I look falling over.

at the end of the class, the teacher turned off the lights while we just lay in the dark and he tried to soooooooth us with his gay sooothing voice.
I tried really extremely hard not to laugh and was doing well UNTIL he said: Relax. breathe in. This is YOUR moment. Treasure it.

or something like that.

I'M GOING AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR SURE.
it relaxes me.

today was the LONGEST DAY OF THE WEEK. 6am till 10pm: School then mentoring then body jam then body balance. NO BREAKS. yes.
I'm drained.

After reading that thinking can make people fat, I don't know what else won't make people fat.
ANYWAY, I realised I have about a month's more of relief teaching to go and I'll be retrenched. *GASP!* I need to start thinking what I'm going to do next.

I feel that I should volunteer at some place related to my field of study and I'll probably do that for about a month or so.. but I still have 2 plus more months for other things.

I want to work in a place where there is NO dress code restrictions. So that I can wear my shorts and tees and jeans and all... after 4 months of not being able to do that (and not being able to wear shorts much since I can't wear shorts to church as well leaving me only one miserable day to wear shorts), I think that is in my list of criterias. I could go back to working at the makeup counters but that would mean that I have to wear black every working day. AND SHOES. ultimate no-no combo for now.

I think good working hours are also important as I would LOVE to have time to meet up with people for random meals and such without having to wait till 5.30pm everyday to do that.

I would also love to wake up late on at least some of the days.. after 4 months of 6am mornings, I think that's more than enough.

Distance is also an issue. If I have to change two buses and sit on the train before I reach my place of work everyday, I'll just shrivel up and die. Or rather, my ez-link card would.

It also cannot be too boring. I WILL NOT allow myself to go back to data entry. Tecman paid me less than 3 bucks an hour for the work I did and I have been very bitter since. Work has to be interesting and I need to feel that my work is worth it. IF the pay is low, there should be some other form of satisfaction I get out of it. For that matter, I think that data entry is pretty much a low paying job, both in actual pay and in job satisfaction. Unless you are the kind that get satisfaction from clearing a pile of paper work.

Work must not make me think too much as well. Seeing the above article, it has dawned upon me the reason as to why my middle has thickened and my countenance has become more prosperous.

looks like I'll end up not working much at all...heh.