The Value of Playdates

Recently, K has been spending a lot more time with children her age by having regular playdates.
It has made me realise the importance these little sessions play in the development of her character, especially at this stage.

K gets a lot of time with adults and older people..
Of course she spends her entire day with me... but the majority of her interactions usually involve random aunty and uncles saying hi to her or older kids who are in primary school trying to play with her.
She doesn't get much interaction with kids closer to her age.
But I find that there is a whole other set of essential relational skills she can learns and picks up when she interacts with peers.

1. Sharing.
With older people, she usually is seen as the vulnerable party and is given whatever she reaches out for.
At home, there is no one to fight with her and I pretty much allow her to take what she wants unless it is harmful to her.
But when she has to interact and play with someone else her age, they tend to want the same thing at the same time and it forces the need to learn to share.

2. Accepting 'NO'
K is at an age where her favourite word and answer for everything is 'no'.
She will sometimes say 'no' even if she really means yes, just to see my reaction.
Because this is also when her speech is developing, her 'defiance' and will is usually deemed cute.
Just yesterday she had a little 'diva moment' and it was brushed off by observing adults as 'having character'.
I, as a mom, worry that she is starting to be spoilt by being allowed her way all the time and not having anyone to compete with for attention and resources...
So imagine my delight when I started to notice her little friend F saying 'no' to K during their playdates! hahaha..
I realise that this is exactly what a toddler needs: another equally strong willed toddler saying no to them to give them a taste of their own medicine once in a while.. hehe..

3. Challenging Ability
Another thing I observed was that K has a little bit of competitiveness in her.
If che che F can do something, she will also try to do that.
So when we were out one day at a play area and F decided to climb a hill, the normally cautious K decided that if F can do it, so can she.
And of course while my protective mother hen nature wanted to emerge, I sat back for a moment and watched her conquer that relatively steep hill on her own!

4. Caring and Being Gentle
K has also been spending some time with babies younger than her.
It puts her in a whole different position because now she is no longer the most vulnerable one.
In these instances, she is forced to learn to give way and be gentle with the younger baby... skills that are so so useful for when her own didi comes along.
I have to say that she has been doing this very well and she has shown the ability to be loving and gentle to babies younger than her.

K is now close to 20 months and is right smack in the middle of her character development age. I feel blessed that she has the opportunity to have playdates with peers her age to allow her to learn and exercise all these good relational skills which will help shape her character as well.
It is very heartwarming when I see K learning more and more to interact well with other children her age.
It makes me very happy when she shows great ability to get along well with her peers, show love, share and care for others.
There is only so much us parents can teach, and no matter how many times we read a book on sharing or let them watch a show on caring for others, nothing beats hands on throw you in the deep end real life experiences.

Also, I'm so thankful for all the wonderful parents who allow K to fumble around with their children to learn these valuable life lessons :)