Yesterday at about 6.40pm, K walked right across the room without any support.
She has been taking one or two tiny steps on her own for a while now and I knew it was going to happen but nothing prepared me for when it really happened.
I was there when she sat up on her own for the first time.
I was there when she started crawling with her belly off the floor.
I was also there when she first pulled herself up to stand.
But there is NOTHING that can compare to seeing her walk those 10 steps all by herself.
I screamed, I cheered and clapped, I picked her up and swung her around and around and covered her with kisses and praise, then suddenly, I started to cry.
My baby is growing up, and growing up too quickly.
She's becoming more and more independent every day and it's going too fast for me.
Just a couple of days ago, K would crawl around chasing me, whining till I helped her to stand and held her hand while she walked circles around the house.
I thought to myself: oh man.. I can't wait till she walks on her own so I don't have to keep doing this.
Kicking myself for saying that now.
Today she is practicing her new skill.
She will pull herself up to stand, reach out for my hand, orientate herself and then release my hand after the first couple of steps to continue on her journey alone, her palms would be planted firmly on her tummy, as if to tell me: 'Don't even try to hold me, mummy! I can do this on my own!'
SOB!
She will still hold my hand for the entire journey occasionally, but only to lead me to where she wants me to plant myself before turning to go off exploring again.
Once in a while, she would pick out a book from her toy box and hand it to me, crawl into my lap and wait till I read with her.
I am cherishing every moment she still wants to be close to me.
I am cherishing every moment she still holds on to me because I know that very soon, she would be squirming away from my outstretched arms, refusing stay close and hold on...
Right. I think I need some chocolate now ;)
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Monday, April 20, 2015
Being a stay at home mom
I have been a stay at home mom for almost a year.
At 29 years of age, many of my peers are still working, having the financial freedom of buying almost anything they fancy.
I on the other hand spend my time on Carousell selling items, drawing out meal plans to budget groceries and looking out for diaper deals.
A lot of soon to be moms have asked me how we managed to survive on a single income, especially since Q is not some senior vice president, and in actual fact just switched careers just before we were expecting K.
Q also pretty much took a 2 year step back in income when he switched to his current job.
Well, the original plan was for me to stay home for 4 months then we would find some way for me to go back to work.
During the few months leading up to that, we saved as much as we could so that we could survive those 4 months.
I am very used to spending very little and saving a huge part of my income (Thanks to my parents who taught me to save since young)
So even before we had K, I had already saved quite a bit.
That actually came in useful when I decided not to return to work after the 4 months were up.
When we got married, Q and I looked into investing our savings as a family right away to prepare for that rainy day.
Little did we know, that rainy day wasn't that far away.
I actually worked part time while taking care of K for about 6 months. I worked 3 days a week and brought home a small income.
That helped quite a bit, especially since K switched from breastmilk to formula at 7 months.
But when she turned 10 months, I found myself truly unemployed and a true blue stay home mom.
THAT was when it got really tough.
On a daily basis, I cook a lot.
Eating at home became the norm for us.
Mostly because there really wasn't time to go out for a meal after Q came home from work.
But we chose to have home cooked food over even da paoed food because it was actually cheaper.
Weekends were spent making stew and freezing them in preparation for days where I was so busy I didn't have time to prepare dinner.
We also invested in cookware that allowed me to prep before hand and set a timer for when I wanted things to be done.
Having a couple of handy tools like these helped make food prep much less daunting and significantly reduced the temptation of just eating out.
We also have a house rule: Restaurant food only once a week.
This rule is much tougher than it seems!
We were used to eating at restaurants whenever we were out, mostly because that's where highchairs are a guarantee.
But after we set that rule and found ourselves at foodcourts more often, we realised that many foodcourts now also provide highchairs!
To make things tougher, our definition of 'restaurants' meant anywhere where we had to spend more than $10 in total to feed the both of us (we love to make things difficult for ourselves).
So to Q's dismay, that meant that MacDs was also considered a 'restaurant'.
Life now is tougher.
But this experience also brings the meaning of 'for richer or poorer' to a whole new level :)
I am so thankful for Q and it really comforts me to know that we are really both here for the long haul.
If you ask me now if I would trade having a baby for financial freedom?
Definitely not.
Would I put K into a childcare now and work at least part time since she is already one?
As we prepare to celebrate her first birthday, I realise that I am probably not going to do that either.
I am so thankful Q allowed me to stay home with K entirely for the first year and shouldered the responsibility of bring home the bacon (or spam).
I am so thankful I was the one who taught her her first word, witnessed her first laugh, saw her progression from laying down to sitting up to crawling to pulling to stand and now starting to take her first steps.
I am so thankful I have been able to be there for every fall, every cry, every struggle.
She is growing at an exponential pace and I wouldn't give up witnessing any milestone for a more comfortable life.
It also doesn't make sense for me to go out and nurture other people's kids and miss out on my own child's developmental milestones.
So for now, I'm happy right where I am :)
At 29 years of age, many of my peers are still working, having the financial freedom of buying almost anything they fancy.
I on the other hand spend my time on Carousell selling items, drawing out meal plans to budget groceries and looking out for diaper deals.
A lot of soon to be moms have asked me how we managed to survive on a single income, especially since Q is not some senior vice president, and in actual fact just switched careers just before we were expecting K.
Q also pretty much took a 2 year step back in income when he switched to his current job.
Well, the original plan was for me to stay home for 4 months then we would find some way for me to go back to work.
During the few months leading up to that, we saved as much as we could so that we could survive those 4 months.
I am very used to spending very little and saving a huge part of my income (Thanks to my parents who taught me to save since young)
So even before we had K, I had already saved quite a bit.
That actually came in useful when I decided not to return to work after the 4 months were up.
When we got married, Q and I looked into investing our savings as a family right away to prepare for that rainy day.
Little did we know, that rainy day wasn't that far away.
I actually worked part time while taking care of K for about 6 months. I worked 3 days a week and brought home a small income.
That helped quite a bit, especially since K switched from breastmilk to formula at 7 months.
But when she turned 10 months, I found myself truly unemployed and a true blue stay home mom.
THAT was when it got really tough.
On a daily basis, I cook a lot.
Eating at home became the norm for us.
Mostly because there really wasn't time to go out for a meal after Q came home from work.
But we chose to have home cooked food over even da paoed food because it was actually cheaper.
Weekends were spent making stew and freezing them in preparation for days where I was so busy I didn't have time to prepare dinner.
We also invested in cookware that allowed me to prep before hand and set a timer for when I wanted things to be done.
Having a couple of handy tools like these helped make food prep much less daunting and significantly reduced the temptation of just eating out.
We also have a house rule: Restaurant food only once a week.
This rule is much tougher than it seems!
We were used to eating at restaurants whenever we were out, mostly because that's where highchairs are a guarantee.
But after we set that rule and found ourselves at foodcourts more often, we realised that many foodcourts now also provide highchairs!
To make things tougher, our definition of 'restaurants' meant anywhere where we had to spend more than $10 in total to feed the both of us (we love to make things difficult for ourselves).
So to Q's dismay, that meant that MacDs was also considered a 'restaurant'.
Life now is tougher.
But this experience also brings the meaning of 'for richer or poorer' to a whole new level :)
I am so thankful for Q and it really comforts me to know that we are really both here for the long haul.
If you ask me now if I would trade having a baby for financial freedom?
Definitely not.
Would I put K into a childcare now and work at least part time since she is already one?
As we prepare to celebrate her first birthday, I realise that I am probably not going to do that either.
I am so thankful Q allowed me to stay home with K entirely for the first year and shouldered the responsibility of bring home the bacon (or spam).
I am so thankful I was the one who taught her her first word, witnessed her first laugh, saw her progression from laying down to sitting up to crawling to pulling to stand and now starting to take her first steps.
I am so thankful I have been able to be there for every fall, every cry, every struggle.
She is growing at an exponential pace and I wouldn't give up witnessing any milestone for a more comfortable life.
It also doesn't make sense for me to go out and nurture other people's kids and miss out on my own child's developmental milestones.
So for now, I'm happy right where I am :)
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Perspective
I've been a stay home mom for a year.
Well, not entirely 100%.
I worked 3 days a week for about 7 months?
But now I'm back to being a full on stay at home mom.
This gives me a lot of time to think about stuff.. especially when K is using me as a human beanbag.
So much has happened and yet so little has happened in this year.
I have come to realise that in this phase of my life, I have so little time that is actually mine alone.
So much of my time now is just taking care of K and Q... and the house.
And with the little time that I have, you are forced to make careful decisions on how you spend your time.
And so I've come to realise what is really important to me and what isn't.
I've also come to realise who my true friends are and who aren't.
Not having a lot of time means not being able to meet up.
And some people disappear, while others check in once in a while to keep the friendship going.
It's not like I died or had a great tragedy, but it really shows who cares enough to make the effort to keep the friendship going... especially when I get so busy I don't have the time to be the initiator.
I also have learnt to choose my battles.
And believe me, there have been tons of battles.
I just can't and won't fight all of them.
Actually, most of the time I just walk away from them.
I only fight the battles I actually care about.
I have also realised that some people just love to create drama.
And many people think that the world owes them their life.
I'm sorry but that is not reality and this is actually one of the things I just turn and walk away from most of the time.
This year, I choose to surround myself only with people who genuinely care and I genuinely love.
To live happy and drama free :)
Well, not entirely 100%.
I worked 3 days a week for about 7 months?
But now I'm back to being a full on stay at home mom.
This gives me a lot of time to think about stuff.. especially when K is using me as a human beanbag.
So much has happened and yet so little has happened in this year.
I have come to realise that in this phase of my life, I have so little time that is actually mine alone.
So much of my time now is just taking care of K and Q... and the house.
And with the little time that I have, you are forced to make careful decisions on how you spend your time.
And so I've come to realise what is really important to me and what isn't.
I've also come to realise who my true friends are and who aren't.
Not having a lot of time means not being able to meet up.
And some people disappear, while others check in once in a while to keep the friendship going.
It's not like I died or had a great tragedy, but it really shows who cares enough to make the effort to keep the friendship going... especially when I get so busy I don't have the time to be the initiator.
I also have learnt to choose my battles.
And believe me, there have been tons of battles.
I just can't and won't fight all of them.
Actually, most of the time I just walk away from them.
I only fight the battles I actually care about.
I have also realised that some people just love to create drama.
And many people think that the world owes them their life.
I'm sorry but that is not reality and this is actually one of the things I just turn and walk away from most of the time.
This year, I choose to surround myself only with people who genuinely care and I genuinely love.
To live happy and drama free :)
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