Goodbye, August.

I had a super long weekend.
I got into an accident on Friday which made me cancel all my sessions to go straight to the mechanic.
They told me I had to go back on Monday because they needed a whole day to fix my car up
So I went home.
I was thinking of resuming work but I was still a bit shaky from the accident and couldn't really get back behind the wheel.
Then Monday morning I took the day off to send it to the mechanic
and Tuesday was a public holiday.
Despite the long weekend, I feel I haven't managed to catch up on sleep.
Had to wake up on Saturday to go vote for the president,
Was playing at service on Sunday so that was an early morning too,
Monday morning was an early start because we had to get down to the mechanics the minute they opened,
and we had a brunch date on Tuesday so I didn't get to sleep in either :(
quite a disappointing weekend with the accident and a couple of other unpleasant encounters
But I'm glad it's the end of the month.
It means I'm that much closer to Christmas :)
Goodbye, August!
Hello, busy September.

My Neighbour Totoro

After Q stared at me like I was a weirdo when I squealed over finding the Totoro toy in one of those novelty/stationary shops in Bugis,
I decided it was time to let my boyfriend watch the film that occupied EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY of our lives when we were kids.
I am serious.
We taped it down (VCR style) when it first aired on TV and the three of us would watch this anime from start to end EVERY WEEKEND until it got taped over in a very unfortunate and devastating accident :(
As Q and I watched it, I tried my best to hold back my giggles because I KNEW when all the funny bits were and I was about to laugh before it even happened.

This anime was made in 1988.
It is almost as old as me,
BUT it has NEVER, I repeat, NEVER lost it's charm.
The same quirky Totoro that stole my heart so many years ago stole it again :)
And this time, it took Q's too :)
He now wants to buy the stuffed toy..
And FYI, we NEVER want to buy stuffed toys.
I think we like it so much because we see a little of ourselves in the huge furry creature.
The same slightly insane character that comes up every once in a while when we decide to be a little silly.
We might just make the DVD a family heirloom.

I hate nights like these.
When I go to bed feeling a little teary eyed
and my heart a little broken.
When no amount of hot showers could make me feel any better.
But it's nights like these when I pray the most, because it's when I'm most helpless.
And it's nights like these when I am reminded that I am ALWAYS the apple of God's eye,
and I am ALWAYS loved by Him,
and that He's ALWAYS 100% there for me.
I guess it's not so bad after all :)

ISFJ

You know how I have been going on and on about how busy I am,
And how every week I seem to fall ill over the weekends and sometimes that stretches beyond the weekend,
And then I get all stressed up because I miss work and lose sessions
and then get busy again
and then fall ill again?
Thanks to this personality test Q made me do while I was home with the hives this weekend and bit, I realized that this cycle is due to my body's natural defense mechanism against overwork.
But not that it can be helped.
My life just keeps getting busier.
I guess I could say no to some things and make my life a lot less busy
but the saying no part is very difficult when it comes to certain things.
So yes.
As much as I nag at Q for not being able to say no, I have the exact same problem.
BUT, I strive to change.
Because I seriously think this falling sick thing needs to stop.

Happy Birthday, Quen!

You are a quarter of a century egg already.
Stay AWESOME, HANDSOME and TROUBLESOME ;)
Love you! :)

Today, I realized that my job is actually quite simple.
There is only one aim/goal/rule/endpoint:
Get the kid to do what the parents have tried and failed to get him/her to do.

Today, all I did was get the kid to drink from a new water bottle.
Apparently, this child is UNABLE and refuses to drink from this new bottle.
But I didn't even need to coax or trick him into it.
I just handed the bottle to the kid and said:'drink.'
and he did.
Sometimes I think it has a lot to do with HOW you do things.
If you pretend that everything is peachy, most of the time it'll turn out that way.
Like if you kinda think the child will have difficulty at something, pretend he's an expert at it and can do it..
Sometimes they surprise you.

My next goal,
Get all my kids to start reading and adding numbers up to 2 digits.
I'm halfway there.. but the other half way is going to be a tough challenge.
I like :)
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

NDP 2011

Today's National Day, so YAY for the holiday :)
I got to do my brunch plan but not much else.
but it's okay!
This short break will carry me through for the next few of weeks of CRAZY work
then we'll have another holiday :)
We watched the national day parade and read twitter critiques at the same time..
So funny how we can't really find good things to say about it.
I was totally freaked out by the giant puppet humans who were all wobbly and STARING ALL THE TIME.
so going to have nightmares.
But I really liked the huge paos..
I thought the smoke was a very nice touch.

I've been living in denial a little..
And the past couple of days have been spent facing some of these issues I have been avoiding.
It's been quite painful.
I'm still not sure if it was all worth it.
But maybe because I'm not entirely free from it.
I'm still slowly making my way through.

sick, upset, frustrated but saved.

I had a very very bad day.
I woke up feeling really awful like how I always feel during illnesses.
I can't believe I'm sick AGAIN
I threw up a lot today
Even Milo didn't stay down.
I had an episode of family drama
I had to cancel two of my three sessions

but it isn't the worst day because:
The last session that I manage to go for was a good one : )
I always feel very accomplished when the child picks up a new skill/learns something new.
Q was suppose to be out with his colleagues and I was feeling really awful and wishing he was with me instead AND AT THAT VERY MOMENT HE SHOWED UP AT MY DOOR.
Best BF ever.

Tomorrow I'm going to PURGE myself of all the negativity I've accumulated from today by cleaning and disinfecting my room and remaining totally detached from family drama for as long as I can.
I will also take my medication and pray I get better soon.
I need to get better.
Work is becoming quite overwhelming and if I'm ill while trying to overcome it, I might die.
stop. PURGE PURGE PURGE NEGATIVITY.
God will CARRY me through.

I'm not feeling good today.
My nose is runny, my eyes are puffy, my head is aching just enough to annoy me.
I probably caught the flu but I've been sick so much lately I'm getting quite used to it.
But that's not why I'm not happy.
I went to see my grandpa in the hospital today and that got me really down.
Just seeing how helpless he was and how no one knew what to do to make him feel better was upsetting enough.
He was in such a bad state I just stood there and frowned and concentrated on not crying.
I realize I can't even remember the last time he was well :(

BFFs

I miss having a really close girl friend.
I mean, I have great friends.
And I have friends I feel close to, but not super duper tight with.
I wish I had someone who understood me and knew me inside out,
someone who would come over all the time,
know my parents like they are her parents and vice versa,
have mini sleepovers,
talk about anything and everything..
someone I could call any time when I felt like it and I know she would be there to listen.

I don't know why I never made such a friendship.
Sometimes I feel like I really need one, but it never is there.