My Dad

I've never really been a daddy's girl.
Mom stayed home with us so we grew up really close to our mom and dad just kinda tagged along.
Dad was a very conservative dad.
I had a 9pm curfew even in JC and could only get my ears pierced in J2.
We could never wear spaghetti tops because he would say that if anyone were to snip the strap with a pair of scissors it would fall off.
Don't even think about tube tops which were all the rage then!
Our wardrobe consisted of church/youth camp t-shirts and jeans.
I never went for sleepovers or birthday parties.
I never went out after school to Holland V with our school mates.

But after I got married, became a parent myself, and started noticing and interacting with other parents and other dads, I realise how great a dad I've got.

My dad is now retired, but he is never found slouching in front of the tv.
We haven't had a helper since I was about 5.
In the past, my mom would do the housework while my dad worked.
But when my mom started working, he helped her out with the housework.
Now, my mom is still working while he is retired so he does ALL the housework... from washing and ironing the laundry to vacuuming and mopping the floor.
And mind you, his floor area is much bigger than my 5-room HDB AND he is what the government considers a 'Senior Citizen'.
But those factors don't stop him!
He takes public transport everywhere and never complains about it.
It takes him an hour and a half to get from his place to mine by public transport but he and my mom still come once a week to see K bringing all sorts of goodies.
When I was down with a fever, he woke up at 6am in the morning to travel to my place by bus so that he would be here by 8am and I would have help right after Q left for work.
He is never afraid to squat or crawl or make a fool out of himself to cajole a smile out of K.

But all these amazing things are just a reflection of what kind of a man he is.
He is never afraid of hard work and never sees anything as beneath him.
He comes from a generation where men expect to be treated like kings in the home and never have to touch a dirty dish or pick up after themselves.
I have seen men in his generation expect everything served to them and expect everyone to listen to them just because.
But Dad is not like that.
He instead taught me that respect should be given to everyone regardless of seniority.
He taught me to always be genuine and truthful.
He taught me never to be afraid of hard work, and to always strive to do my best in anything I do.
He also taught me to always live frugally and to be very careful about my purchases.
He taught me to take care of my things so that they would last a long long time.
He taught me the value of being satisfied with what I have and that the chase for the latest is a downward spiral.
He also taught me that actions often speak louder than words, and to go the extra mile to make someone happy if I can.

We still have our arguments.. What father and daughter duo doesn't right?
But all in all, he is a very very great dad.
I wouldn't want to have any other dad.
Have a great Father's day, daddy!
I love you!

Church Camp

So this year, Q and I decided that we would go for church camp.
We had missed last year's because K was still really little and it just felt right to go this year.
We really didn't have a good reason not to.
I was slightly nervous as the day drew near as K has proven that she doesn't really do very well in new places.
She gets really scared and doesn't sleep well, leaving the both of us a little zombified.
But at the back of my mind I was trying to tell myself that she is a little older now, maybe it'll be better.

Well, we didn't get out room the first day we were there till just before dinner so naps were pretty much in the conference room in the carrier.
K had 2 short half an hour naps but I thought it was okay... better than nothing.
Night time came and K turned into a newborn baby.
She needed us to soothe her throughout the night!
People with newborns know that there is a certain period at night that we call the 'witching hour'.
During this time, you have NO idea what is wrong or what to do.
You just have a very fussy baby, and very tired parents.
Well, our witching hour spanned from 8pm till 7am the next morning.
As you can imagine, that meant two zombies walking around the next day.
Every one else thought we had a fantastic night because K was her usual happy sociable self.
But if you looked closely enough, you could see the bags under our eyes.

The second night, I thanked God that this was a relatively short camp and we would be home by the next night.
We tried again to put her to sleep in her own cot thinking by now she should not feel as unsure about the new place..
But she still did her usual crying and screaming.
This time, she did it till she threw up all over the cot and rendered the cot uninhabitable.
So, the only choice was to put her in bed with us.
Well, K spent the entire night sleeping ON me.
Let's just say, at least we got some sleep.

But I must say that throughout the camp, even though I was super sleep deprived, I did not even feel sleepy during the sessions.
Pastor Steve Chua, our camp speaker, was super engaging and his sessions were very good.
Even minding a fussy toddler in my zombie state did not make me zone out from what he was imparting and I was truly blessed.
THAT was the only redeeming factor I felt.
Other than that, K was a good baby.
Despite being sleep deprived herself, she was only really cranky on the last day.
All of us were a little cranky by then I think.

Now, we are back home and K is still crying while we try to put her to bed.
It's going to take a few nights before she gets back into her routine.
Well, we have decided that we will not attempt any more trips away from home for now.
I think I would much rather holiday at home than anywhere else at this point!

My Obsession

I have an obsession... with cleanliness.
I love to spring clean.
I love to declutter.
I love to clean.
People who know me and have been to my house know that I have a zero tolerance policy for clutter.
I am very harsh when it comes to clutter.
If it is deemed clutter in my eyes, it goes.
I don't keep things in a corner in the house for that hypothetical day I might need it.
Everything has it's place in the house and is religiously put back in it's place every time after it is used.
This includes K's toys.
She has 3 boxes.
One for soft toys, one for hard toys and one for books.
She naps twice a day and the 5 minutes before each nap is dedicated to putting back all the toys that she has taken out and changing her diaper.

I also have a very low tolerance for dust and dirt.
I must say that this low tolerance is not as low as before, because when I was handling a newborn I had to get used to only a couple of cleaning sessions a week.
So I have a greater tolerance now but it is still quite low.
My home is very white.
We have white cabinets for our kitchen, white tiled floors in the living room and the walls are all very slightly off-white.
The master bedroom toilet is also very white.
When we were designing our house, we were advised against using white because white doesn't hide dirt.
But we CHOSE white because white doesn't hide dirt.
I like to know when something is dirty and needs cleaning.
Some might see my home as a very cold house.
We have very few pictures because picture frames means dust.
The dishes don't stay dirty in the sink longer than half an hour.
I usually wash as I cook.
So often, the dishes don't even get to touch the sink.
I used to vacuum every day but Q bought me a robot vacuum recently so now I run the robot vacuum every day and then do a manual vacuum once a week.
I actually look forward to that weekly vacuum session.
I will wipe all the surfaces down and do a good dusting.
Vacuum even the sofa and the fans... and then vacuum the robot vacuum as well.

I do all this cleaning, packing because it makes me happy!
Sometimes when I've had a very busy day and K has been particularly fussy and I couldn't get much done, I grumpily turn to Q and apologise for how messy the house is and he looks at me like I'm crazy.
But that is me.

Hi, my name is Amelia.
I am a clean freak.

Blessed

Apparently my post about how our family is surviving after we decided I was to be a SAHM has caused some people to think that we have financial difficulties.
Here I am to say, no! We are not having financial difficulties! :)
Money isn't in abundance but we have enough.
We are making the decision to live frugally because we decided that we want to live within our means and have enough to save for another rainy day if it ever comes too.
Also although we have chosen to forgo some things, we are very blessed with friends and family who have been blessing us with these luxuries we have chosen to give up.
I have an amazing family who brings over with sushi, bubble tea or whatever our current craving is when they come and visit.
A very dear friend treated me to a day off from being a SAHM and a very expensive clay crafting class where I got to stoop over a table making tiny rainbow cakes and not have to care about diapers and feeding a baby or naps for 5 hours.

My Creation! ;) 

I also have a great group of church mummies who support and bless me in different ways... clothes, toys, books, prayer support etc...
I was just telling Q today that if everyone were to share toys and pass around toys like these mummies have, there really would be no more need for toy companies to continue operation.
We have bought her ONE toy so far but she has 4 overflowing boxes of toys once we include all the other hand-me-downs that were actually in perfect condition!
We have really been immensely blessed by many people and these few months have been far from tough.

We both have also come to realize that we have really been living a life of excess.
All those restaurant dinners that we have spent on, those elaborate weekly brunches, buying the latest gadgets just to keep up with the times, or things just in case we need something like that...
We don't feel any more miserable eating primarily at hawker centres and food courts.
We are actually happier because we don't need to wait for waiters who never notice you, no longer need to pay service charge, and can have different cuisines depending on our own personal cravings and preferences!
Buying things are now based on what we need, so we don't spend hours trawling online shopping sites looking for something nice to buy ourselves.
Our waistlines are now trimmer too from having home cooked food more often and lesser sugar laden sodas!
Happiness now comes from spending quality time with people that matter and realising that we are surrounded by people who truly care about us....
And isn't that what true happiness is? :)

When Others Try To Parent For Me

Being the main caregiver of K, I take care of her life from what she eats to when she naps to how she sleeps.
There are many many different ways to take care of babies.
You can breastfeed and you can formula feed.
You can be 100% organic or be totally lax with what your baby eats.
You can co-sleep and you can make sure baby sleeps in her own cot in her own room.
You can sleep train and you can let your baby decide for themselves when they are ready to sleep through the night.
And of course there is also everything else in between.

Well, I chose to breastfeed as much as I could and use formula to top up whatever I couldn't.
I chose to go natural with food, no salt, no seasoning.
I boil/steam everything and made sure K never had artificial sugar and sweets till she was at least one.
I chose to make sure she slept in her own cot in her own room from the day she came home from the hospital.
I slept train her at 3 months and then again at 6 months.
I don't run to pick her up every time she cries and often treat her crying as a form of communication like talking.
I don't baby proof my home (other than the one baby gate to the toilet that has no door) but chose instead to teach K boundaries and to listen when I say no.
I let her knock her head into tables and walls and cupboards so that she would learn how to estimate her own height vs the height allowance of different parts of the house.
When she throws a tantrum and doesn't eat the meal prepared for her, I don't offer an alternative and she has to wait till the next meal even if she is hungry.

With any choice you make, there will be naysayers and people who think what you are doing is outrightly wrong.
I've had people tell me I need to let my baby get used to eating salt, buy baby proofing items to make me baby proof my house and tell me that leaving my baby to cry or be hungry is torturing her.

As a first time mom, I admit there are many things I don't know.
That is why I read extensively before K arrived and still continue to read extensively about different things I would encounter as she passed her milestones.
As I stated earlier, there is no one right way to do things. Everything is up to what you prefer, what you believe and where your comfort zone lies.
Being a parent is never easy.
And just because something works on one kid, it doesn't mean it will work on another.
Sharing your parenting experience is one thing, but trying to force it on others and openly putting down other people's parenting choices to me is just disrespectful and mean.
When others try to force their opinions on me, I give them this card:

Just kidding!

While there are some things that are definite no-nos, like giving your baby water before they start solids and honey before they turn the age of one, I must say that kids are super resilient to different parenting styles.
When I receive (what I feel in my opinion) very ridiculous suggestions about how to parent K, I often look at the children of these people who gave the suggestions. And shockingly enough, most of the time they are perfectly great people!
At the end of the day, I believe with my whole heart that as long as I do what I feel is best for K and commit her to God and do my best to teach her about Him, God will take care of it all and K will grow up a beautiful woman, inside and out.
When we rely on God, He works despite our human shortfalls and weaknesses and makes everything good in the end!