yummy mess

I am having the strangest lunch ever.
My grandparents left for melbourne this morning so there is no one to prepare lunch.
I went to the fridge and couldn't find anything I wanted to eat.
Didn't feel like eating maggie mee.
So I decided to finish the yogurt, add a bit of cornflakes for carbo and a banana for energy.
Threw everything into a bowl.
It's actually pretty yummy.
oh well.
just to fill this huge tummy of mine
without having to wash too many bowls.
Skipped lect this morning so that I dont have to stay in school for 4 hours.
And I've used up my internet quota so the 4 hours would have been too long to bear.
I am suppose to work on my assignment now.
But I'm feeling LAZY.

Music: Ice Cream, Waffles and Apple Pie

gone with the hair

I'm not even gone for 2 months and someone has already joined the monastery.
hahaha.. just joking.
I got a shock when I saw it on facebook.
I'm still a bit in shock.
I was about to go to bed but decided to check my email
got an email from shing telling me matt shaved
looked into facebook cause that's where the world is
and TADA!
I'm still in a bit of a shock.

'mazing!

Isnt this the most amazing picture you have seen?
The huge dark hole you see is a sudden drop in sea level.
It stirs this indescribable feeling..
It makes me feel very amazed yet very scared.

I'm totally craving mantou dipped in pipping hot chilli crab gravy now...
There was this huge drama this morning..
something along the lines of my housemate not being very happy..
then my grandma and her got into an exchange of words..
I can't say it was an argument cause it wasn't.
It's those conversations in which you know the two parties aren't very happy with each other
but they aren't shouting or anything...
though shouting would have definitely add to the drama factor
cause we were doing bible study half way through when this happened
and then the housemate said she was the spawn of satan or something
and that got my grandma so upset
It was a really weird morning.

some times I really feel like a good run is in place
but the thought of the steep hills and all just makes me cringe.
So I walk around the house.
But that makes me walk into the kitchen to make nutella filled corn thins
and then I get a little rounder.

lalala.
I still want that mantou.

reading makes pooing easier

I have a position paper to write by next monday.
I've been reading the allocated readings 3 times over.
I STILL have no idea what the debate is about.
I don't have the slightest clue as to what to write about since I can hardly understand the debate (it's like having to take a stand on the different types of water to put into the pool. no clue.)
and I'm really tired from working on my assignments non-stop for 2 days.
I'm going to download a show and watch it and then sleep.
Or just sleep.

And I..... can't breathe easy... - Blue

I'm trying to do my assignments and get as much done as possible.
But it seems that every time I look at the assignment sheet, I have difficulty breathing.
its not because of tight clothes.
I'm wearing a very very loose top.
When I read something, I get some sort of a panic attack.
I try to type random things cause typing seems to calm my nerves a little allowing me to breathe normally again.
But when I have to stop and to recall a certain word, it makes me feel like i'm about to hurl.
I totally dont understand the requirements of my assignment.
I WILL GET THROUGH THIS!
(once I can get myself to breathe normally while looking at this darn book and the mountain of papers in front of me. )
I was suppose to try to finish 2 essays today.
I felt really ambitious for some reason after finishing a cup of coffee from dreamy donuts.
stupid coffee.





or maybe, its shopping withdrawal symptoms.

guess what guess what

GUESS WHAT!!
I got my first job assignment today :)
$30 an hour.
but only one hour of work a week.
hahaha..

I woke up at 5am this morning all worried about finding work and I prayed till I fell back to sleep for another hour before waking up at 8.30.
Even though this sounds like a pathetic answer to a prayer, its a start.
And I cannot express how happy I am!! :)
I dont even have to travel away from my home to work cause I'm teaching piano and the girl is going to come over! :)
yay!
I'm really happy now.

rainbow brite with a watery eye

Today on my way to the city from Royal Brisbane, I saw this gay guy with a girl
And I thought to myself how much I would love to have a gay friend..
They have got to be the most loyal friends ever
and they will only like other gay men
they wont steal your man
and they are ever so supportive.
(I'm greatly influenced by SATC)
I so want a gay bestie NOW.
it would so totally freak my grandparents out. harhar.
OH. I just remembered that my sister HAS a gay bestie.
that lucky girl.

I also discovered the wonderful world of rice cakes and corn thins.
They have got to be the best things ever made (besides chicken in the biscuit and custard)
They are my lunchbox fillers for the next 2 weeks!

I'm having trouble coming up with a thesis topic.
Its unfair that the other people have their supervisors to think up something for them and I have to think on my own.
pfft.
I am not liking this thesis writing.
my eye is still watery.

cookies and a whole lot of cream

I did a whole lot of reading today but I didnt understand everything I read so I dont think all the work I did counts.
I have to read it again later.
I also washed the toilet and did laundry and that's probably my only accomplishment today.
my eye keeps tearing and it hurts like mad :(
I'm craving for subway cookies now.

black clouds filled with black pigeons

BAD BAD BAD day.
bus came late
late for lecture
lost my Go card (equivalent of the EZ-link card)
Heard that Mrs Moses Yu died.
and its not even 1pm.
:(

king of the laundry pile

Yesterday I took a 2 hour journey from home to Royal Brisbane Hospital to meet my supervisor.
TWO hours.
But my supervisor is a really really great guy who greeted me at his door with an eyepatch. hahaha..
some eye infection thing.
so ANYWAY, he asked if I wanted to do this project that involved me going over to ADELAIDE to see some coroner about death records!!
HOW EXCITING IS THAT!
but I said no. (anticlimax)
cause obviously I dont want to spend so much on flying to and fro and staying at shitty hotels to get my thesis done.
It's not even my phD.

I met Joan (aka moan cause of her M shaped hair and how she moaned when she was doing pushups doing JC, all according to my sister) totally by chance and planted ourselves at a cafe right in the middle of Queen street.
I had my cocktail and she had her beer and we shared a bowl of fries.
I became totally red (as I always do) and looked like some china woman with very bad makeup skills who overexpressed her love for blusher.
Now I know why ppl drink at night.
It's so dark no one knows how red you really are, so you dont get stared at.

sometimes I think my blog would be more interesting if I had photos to show
but I realise I dont have the patience to upload them all.
Today, it's going to be look for a job, do some interviewing, study, wash laundry and bible study day.
I shall try not to be distracted too much by SATC.

my room mate ALWAYS seems to beat me to washing the laundry.
and because there is only THAT much space on the laundry line, I cannot do laundry when she does laundry.
I hate her that much more.

The Eliminator or The Eliminated

In social relations, there are 2 types of people.
The Eliminators and the people who get eliminated.
In every group of people, there is an unspoken circle of trust.
People in this circle are by default the Eliminators.
They determine who comes into the circle of trust and who gets eliminated from it.
They get told all the secrets, know all the inside jokes and can be pretty confident that the other people in the circle will not backstab them.
That is until something happens and they are pushed out of the circle of trust.

Of course, there are those that are not in the circle of trust.
These are obviously, the eliminated.
In this group of people, there exist 2 subgroups: those that KNOW they are not in the circle of trust, and those that don't.
In my opinion, those who know they are not in the circle of trust are much safer than those who don't.
The former know that they do not reveal incriminating secrets to those in the circle and keep their relationships with the eliminators as impersonal as possible.
The latter however will tell all their secrets, thinking they are accepted but in reality are really the subject of the juciest gossips.

I was talking today to the most powerful Eliminator I know and asking about her the important question: How do you stay the Eliminator and never the eliminated?
Apparently, EQ is key.
So is being cool.
If you don't have the EQ needed to relate to people and you come across as strange, uncool, weird or just simply smell bad, you will always find yourself in the group of the eliminated.

The eliminated has three main groups of individuals: The weird/uncool people, I-am-the-greatest-and-no-one-else-matters-but-me people and the fakies.

The weird/uncool people are those who tend to wear their socks really high and seem to only have one pair of last last last last last season sports shoes. They use words they think are cool but are also last last last last season. They are sometimes the nicest people around because they go out of their way to meet you every need. But as they say, if you are too nice, you are often TOO nice.

The I-am-the-greatest-and-no-one-else-matters-but-me people are self explanatory. These people also often fall in the 'You are eliminated but you still think you are in' group. No matter how obvious the signs are, they still think they are in the circle of trust.

The fakies just fake it all. They fake being nice to you, they fake wanting your company, they fake being sweet or gentlemenly, but somehow, you can still see through all that fake.

It seems all too harsh to brand people and to have an in-group, out-group thing going. But somehow, human social interactions just end up this way...
I don't know how i typed so much about this but congrats if you've read every single word till here.

kthxbye.

illusions of the mind

I'm on my 4 hour break in one of the many many MANY libraries in UQ.
Other than the sad fact that we cannot use msn because of some stupid private IP address thing,
I feel like I'm back in NUS library.
Just that it's alot bigger, we can legally eat food in here (as long as it is dry and cold food for some reason, but I'm not complaining), and there are like SO MANY AMs in this place.
HOWEVER, somehow my table is always occupied by asians.
It's a strange phenomenon.
Yesterday when I sat down (also for 4 hours), the people who came and went were mostly asians.. probably had like one or two Caucasians who sat for a few minutes and then left.
Yesterday I had Mr smelly-foot-rot Asian at my table
today I have Mr I-use-my-400mb-for-gaming-and-purchase-more-so-I-can-game-even-more Asian.
He has been gaming for AT LEAST 3 hours now.

Sometimes I feel like I'm back in Singapore.
When I get a msg from matt, or when I'm online talking to my friends, it feels like I'm back home.
I don't know if this is what they call 'homesick'.
But then I am happy here.
Though I don't know if it counts cause this DOES feel alot like I've been living here all my life.
I'm just waiting in anticipation for the day Lydia and I move into our dream apartment near the city.
I hate my living arrangement now.
Just a few more months to bear (I hope!)
oh well. I'm off to my second last class of the week (yes its only tuesday.)
I love my timetable :)

thoughts after sex and the city

1. Is it really that common to have so much sex?
2. How can people get together with other people so quickly?
3. Why are the guys they say are cute so not my definition of cute? maybe something's wrong with my definition of cute.
4.Am I really going to have that many wrinkles at 30?
5. I wonder if I called my friends at 3am in the morning, will they answer and listen to all I have to say?

Earplugs love.

Recently I've been hanging out alot with my sister's friends..
We went to the Three Monkeys cafe yesterday
today we had lunch at some cheena place
Honey Chicken,baby kailan, fu yong omelet, sweet and sour pork...
yum.
Lydia's friend, Choobs stays in MY DREAM APARTMENT.
I went there and never wanted to leave.
I hope my parents manage to sell the house soon, so that we can get a place here SOON.
We drove all the way down to Harbourtown today!!
didn't do alot of shopping though (good for me)
and then we went to Aunty Flick's house for fantastic dinner..
SO super full.
From this week onwards however, I'll have to start my studying engine.
Thinking about how I'm going to spend my days in the library reminds me of the 'studying' we did back in NUS.. haha..
oh well.

Did I tell you that I got myself some earplugs??
I slept so well last night cause I was in a world of silence.
I'm going to have a great night :)
I love my earplugs.

three monkeys and a elephant

Today I met Joy Low, Sean Yeo and Shumin.
It was good to suddenly be in the company of AC-MG ppl again...
but then it was a bit strange too cause I'm not ACJC and they were talking about ACJC half the time..
I don't really know how to feel toward all this making new friends and having new company thing.
I usually have a common friend around..
Like andrea when I met daryl,
and daryl when I met JonOng, Toshi, Quen, Geri, Rachel and marcus
and JonOng, Toshi and Quen when I met Debses, Daph and Matthius
Quen when I met amanda
Everyone when I met Caleb, Ian and Adel...

Now, it's just: Oh. so you know JonOng? yeah. me too. Hi.
Oh. yeah. Liz told me you were here...

This IS a change.
there isnt even prata or teh ping that we can bond over.
Vietnamese noodles and KFC just doesn't seem to hit the spot.
But well, as change is the only constant, I'd better get used to it.

I realised today that sometimes, in the bid to make new friends, we start acting like what we think the person likes us to be and forget who we actually are.
I'm so guilty of trying too hard sometimes.
I must remember that no friendship should ever be built on lies and deception.

such a reflective post.
but that's what blogs are suppose to be for...
right?

We Will Survive!

my timetable's got to be the slackest one around.
Monday: 12pm-3pm
Tues: 10am-12pm, 4pm-6pm
Thurs: 12pm-2pm

but I've got a whole LOAD and I emphasize LOAD of assignments.
So far, NOT counting my Thesis,
I have got 8 assignments to complete.
the good thing is that one of my courses has no exam,
One has an early exam (which actually isn't good after all given that its in the midst of my huge assignment workload due dates)
and my thesis has not exam (duh.)
So I only have 1 exam to prepare for during my actual reading week.
Greats.
But I dont feel very ready to start all this work.
As much as I really REALLY want good grades,
I also have an obligation to play whilst Leah is here (or rather, I make it my obligation).
AND I have to put some effort into making friends.
RIGHT?
I cannot leave here a lonely girl with no friends and no friends here technically means no life.
SO FAR, all the ppl I've met are Lydia's friends.
who are perfectly great ppl.
And there is Sean who is JonOng's friend and Joy Low who is Liz's friend.
But then again, I've only had school for a week.
Kiasu spirit coming out.
I've gotten lydia to teach me how to drive and can now drive around my estate (which isnt really fantastic cause I only drive at night when there is no one out and about)
but SOON I will get there.

I am also working on that job thing.
SO MANY THINGS TO DO!!
The song that keeps penetrating my mind is the SUPER irritating 'WE WILL SURVIVE' song that I learnt during Kickboxing.
That reminds me.
I have to start moving my butt if i want to keep the weight off.
pfft.

Backtrack

Somehow on the day I left, it was unreal.
It didn't feel like I was leaving for a year.
It felt like I was leaving for a week and all these people just randomly decided to come.
Reminded me of how we 'sent off' walter, mark and koon when they were only going for hillsongs.
I've waited for so long to come here to do my honors but now that I'm here, it doesn't feel anything special.
emopunk.
all I can think of now is how to get a job and how to start to learn driving and HOW TO GET THROUGH THE ENORMOUS STUDY LOAD I HAVE.

Sitting the city cat which is damn boring and uneventful but everyone who comes to brisbane is told they HAVE to sit it.
I don't know why.
Then we went to DREAMWORLD!
which was exciting!!

The mandatory 'WANTED' pictures.

and I still havent taken a pic of my boots.

It TOTALLY doesnt feel like autumn cause its NOT cold at all.
not fair.
I was waiting for autumn for freaking long and its not here.
pfft.
winter should totally come NOW.