Vbac or C-sect?

As we approach the arrival of littlest Lee the biggest thing on my mind is the delivery.
 I have always wanted to have a VBAC, which is vaginal birth after C-section.
My mind was set on that because the recovery is so much faster than a repeat C-sect and when you have to handle a toddler on top of the newborn, that is very very important.
On top of that, a C-section is VERY EXPENSIVE.
The cost of the doctor, the operation, the anesthetist and the longer hospital stay can accumulate to a very hefty sum.

Sometime around 30 weeks, my doctor talked to me about my options for delivery.
I told her that I hoped for a VBAC if possible and she said because of how my last labour progressed, the chances of a repeat emergency C-section is quite high.
I was still pretty set on trying even if it was a small chance.
We started making plans of how I would call my parents to help babysit K while we had the baby and if it were to happen in the middle of the night, what would happen etc.

Just before my next visit, I had another episode of spotting.
I mentioned it during my next visit and my doctor told me that this was because I have a low lying placenta.
She also informed me that with this, my chances for a VBAC have dropped even further...
Actually it meant that my chances for a VBAC is a zero.
Vaginal birth is not an option in cases of low lying placenta as it is too risky and could result in haemorrhaging and death.
So now, we had to think about getting ready for an elective C-sect.

The logical side of me thought that this was a good thing.
We knew when we were going to have the baby and could plan our days and weeks leading up to it.
I'm planner so I thrive best in an environment where nothing is left to chance.
I can even choose the timing to go in and have the baby and make sure K is taken care of.

The emotional side of me however took some convincing.
I dread the long recovery period.
I mourned for the chance to experience a vaginal birth.
A C-sect also carries much more risks and it scares me just a little that I have to go through that again.
But as the weeks pass, I am accepting it and am ready to face whatever I need to in order to hold my little boy in my arms.

After thinking long and hard, we decided to keep the delivery date secret even though we know it because grandparents can be very kan cheong.
This also means that Q will be taking care of K as I go in on my own to have littlest Lee.
We feel that is the best, most drama free option for us and are very comfortable with it.
I think it's a blessing that I went through a C-sect with K so I know what to expect in the days to come after the surgery.
This time round, we know that recovery, rest and family bonding (Especially between K, baby and us) should be our top priorities.
Everything else can wait.... that includes housework..
The OCD side of me is still mentally prepping for a few months of living in a less than perfect house... oops.


Q has planned to be home most of the first month as I recover from the C-sect to help out with handling K.
It also helps that K is a total daddy's girl and prefers his company to mine at the moment anyway!
To be fair, a toddler would more likely choose a fun and active person to a clumsy and always tired hippo.
I am at the moment just happy to be almost done with being pregnant and excited to start this new chapter of our lives and face the challenges that come with handling two on our own!