I always knew that growing up in Singapore put us at a great advantage over our SEA neighbours.. But after a meal with our Cambodian neighbours this week, we realised just how much privilege we have just growing up in Singapore. We met our neighbour V about a month ago when we moved into our apartment here in Manchester. He lives two doors down and and was very friendly from day one. His wife W just joined him here about a week ago so we decided to invite them over for a meal and get to know them better. I did a simple stir fry and they brought over some cupcakes and we had a great time talking over the simple fare.
V and W are in no way considered poor in Cambodia. They came to the UK on a scholarship and can afford to travel frequently. However when they shared about what they went through to have their daughter just a year ago, I realised that there is so much we take for granted. During labour, W was put into a room with 2 other ladies also in labour. V was hence not allowed to be in the room with her during that time and didn't have the privilege of seeing his own daughter being born. When V talked about having a second one, W just shook her head and said she still feels the pain from the first. She didn't have an epidural because that costed extra and it had too much risk in their country. I can't begin to imagine what she must have gone through.. When I told them that both K and N were Caesarean babies, they told us how going for a Caesarean was a very dangerous option in Cambodia. When V was born, they didn't even have access to doctors and hospitals. He was almost killed because his mom was in labour for 2 days and the village nurse said if he didn't come in 2 hours they would have to forgo having the baby to save his mom.
N and Aunty W.
Even during our parents' time, hospitals and doctors were available and very rarely do you hear stories like V's. When I had K, I could hear the lady in the next room screaming in pain.. that alone scared me. But I had Q beside me, and I didn't have to see the lady actually in pain. I also felt nothing because of the epidural. I didn't even think twice about taking the epidural! That's how much trust we have and can have in our health care professionals. As much as I like to complain about wait times at polyclinics and doctors, that is really a first world problem. At least I can be confident that I am getting a good standard of care and privacy is a basic right. I don't have to worry about being shoved into the labour ward with two strangers, and I didn't have to worry that I would die on the operating table when I had my C-sections. The lowest level of healthcare in Singapore is higher than their highest level. Sure, we know we are blessed to be in Singapore but we really don't realise just how blessed we are, do we?
K, N and Uncle V. Excuse the grape in N's mouth 😁
Our conversation at dinner made me think about how we take even the big things for granted and how our kids will likely do too because there is so much we have that we don't even have to think twice about. Not just clean drinking water, a well connected public transport system and education, but also so many toys that the issue we face is that the children are overwhelmed by choice. How many of us also struggle to manage clutter at home, having 5 pots and 10 pans, enough bowls to run a restaurant and clothes to open a departmental store? Q and I are already very far from being indulgent with our children and we live very minimally, but even so we have everything we need and more. How can we teach our children (and even ourselves) to be not only thankful for what we have but to be content? Instead of looking to what is the latest fashion, the latest toy or the latest gadget, to be content with what we have.
There will be some who say we shouldn't be content, we should always strive for the better. I agree, but I think that our striving shouldn't be for better things. I think our striving should be towards being a better person, to be better stewards of our money, to make the world a better place, to be greener, to make more sustainable choices. Idealistic? Maybe. But I personally think these things are much more worth striving for. At the end of our lives it won't matter how fast our cars are or how high tech our phones and gadgets are. The number of cool toys we have also won't matter. There are choices we can make now that have a longer lasting impact and these are the things we should be investing in and striving more towards. The money you choose to donate to providing access to education and clean water instead of buying that latest iPhone will change the entire life of another individual, not just your life for a few months till the next iPhone comes. Is your strive for the latest and the best also killing the very earth you live on? Instead of teaching our children to look for the next best thing on the market and striving for new shiny things, can we instead teach them how to use what they already have and to take good care of it so it lasts a long time? Also, how can we teach them the value in upcycling and show them the joy of giving new life to old items?
So much to think about... don't you think? 😉
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