We don't love each other the same way any more.

Yesterday evening as I sat across the table from Q in MacD's, I spotted a couple sitting not far from us who seemed to be on a date. I started thinking about how we started dating and where our first date was and I could not for the life of me remember 🙊 I asked Q if he remembered and he didn't either. We are such romantics 😂.

So when I came home, I started to look at my gmail hoping to find some clues. Thing is, when Q and I started dating, we had no Whatsapp (are we old? lol.)  and texting would just send our bills sky high so we spent a lot of our time chatting on gchat. I bet no one uses that now. We lived just down the road from each other but we chatted every day and night like we lived miles apart. I am actually really thankful for it because gmail saves EVERYTHING and I could show K and N the first chat we had after we got together. I showed them the record of me telling Q their grandma's reaction when I told her we were dating and how she was very happy because Q was deemed a good man since he was Teochew and had a Teochew face 😂. I spent the rest of the night just reading our chats and reliving the past.

Q and I had a very weird relationship where we were friends for a good number of years before we started to fancy each other. We spent more time talking and chatting online than doing anything else before we started dating and pretty much also after we started dating. We never went on a single one on one date together before we got together which is also why it was quite a surprise to our closest friends when we started dating 😜. Even after we got together, it was a while before we really had a proper date where it was just the two of us and THAT is most probably why we can't remember where our first date was. I do remember that our first meal after we decided to get together was a dinner at my parent's place because we had a friend visiting from the US and we didn't want him to feel alone during the CNY period.

Before marriage

After reading a few old chats, I realised that our love has definitely changed. We used to affirm each other with words A LOT. Every other sentence was something along the lines of 'You are so awesome'. We used to spend hours talking about all sorts of random things. Now our conversations are much deeper, and although we don't praise each other verbally as much, I know we still think that of the other 😉. 'You are awesome' has been replaced with quiet exchanges of thankful tired smiles when he entertains the kids while I wash the dishes, asking for second helpings of dinner and random chocolate surprises bought from the petrol station on his way home from work. 'I love you' has been also been replaced with letting me sleep in a little (actually a lot) longer in the mornings, a little linger during our goodbye kisses in the morning, and the holding of hands while waiting for the kids to finish stomping on every leaf in their path. It's a good change. The little every day exchanges that may seem mundane to others are actually us sending each other secret messages saying 'I love you' or 'I appreciate you' and 'You are awesome'.

After marriage 😂

We've only been married for a little over 6 years but I like the direction things are heading. May we never take each other for granted, and always remember and never be ashamed to still say the occasional 'You are awesome' and 'I love you' outright.